Life After Russia
by cardsfn1977
Summary: This is a series re-write starting with the beginning of season 4. What if Harm and Mac had realized their feelings for each other earlier than in canon? How could things have gone? Chapter 7 is up now.
1. Life After Russia

This fic is going to be my attempt at a rewrite. This is how I think season 4 could have gone. We may not have had to wait 6 more years for our favorite Naval Aviator turned Lawyer and certain Marine Corps Lawyer to pull their collective head out of their six…maybe.

As with my other story, all mistakes are honest ones. I will try to keep them to a minimum, but I make no guarantees. If you happen to see anything wrong, please do not hesitate to PM me and I will do what I can to correct and update the chapter. As this is an Alternate Universe, many mistakes will appear to be egregious, but they…should…fit in with how I see this season going. A couple of episodes will be skipped over as they don't fit…well…they just sucked.

SPOILER ALERT: CONTEMPLATING _NO BUGME__**!**_

Please let me know what you think after this first chapter…along with what you think of the chapter itself. Your reviews will go a long way to helping me write this saga.

A few episodes may have to be split up but I will do what I can to keep the splits to a minimum.

Here's the disclaimer: JAG and its characters the creation of Donald Bellisario and belong to him and CBS/Paramount. Any other characters not related to the show are of my creation. I do not receive any compensation for writing this. I wish I did, but such is life.

That's enough from me…ON WITH THE SHOW!

LIFE AFTER RUSSIA – Between _Gypsy Eyes_ &amp; _Embassy_

_"Chekhov said, 'The strength of the taiga does not lie in its giant trees and silence, but in that only migrating birds know where it ends; only the birds and your father."_

_"Goodbye, Dad. I love you."_

0015 Zulu / 1915 EDT

26 SEPT 1998

Harmon Rabb's Loft Apartment

North of Union Station

Harm walks into his apartment and drops his seabag and carry-on in front of the bookcase that sits next to the front door. From there, he ventures over to the fridge, grabs and opens a beer, then goes over to the couch where he collapses from the fatigue that has, finally, engulfed him from over the last 96 hours.

Over the next 45 minutes, he contemplates what he learned of his father's demise. Once again, he's overcome with emotion and begins to sob heavily.

He has to talk to someone. His mother perhaps…no She would have to wait until he had come to grips with this himself. The Admiral…maybe as a last resort. Chegwidden had taken him under his wing and started to groom Harm for better things. However, the Admiral wasn't quite to the level of father figure enough for Harm to bring himself to taking AJ Chegwidden into his confidence.

Then there was Mac…Sarah. Six months had passed since she had appeared on the pier at Norfolk looking just like…like…HER! It had taken Harm two years to come to grips with Diane's murder. When he was finally able to confront Holbarth with Diane's letter, it was Mac showing up in Harriet Sims' uniform that caused Holbarth to freak out and step back off the pier.

And then…THEY KISSED! Thinking back on it now, the feel of Mac's lips was totally different than Diane's. Diane's lips felt so soft, Harm was afraid he'd break them if he pressed too hard. Mac's, on the other hand, felt like they could take anything and give just as good as they got while not feeling like tanned leather.

Could Mac be who he needed right now? Harm thought about this for another few minutes before making his decision.

Taking a deep breath and letting it out in a long sigh to settle his nerves, harm picked up the phone and dialed the all too familiar number.

0045 Zulu / 1945 EDT

26 SEPT 1998

Sarah Mackenzie's apartment

Georgetown

Sarah "Mac" Mackenzie sat in her terry cloth bath robe on her couch with her legs tucked underneath herself while she was reading the latest Tom Clancy novel.

Her favorite pastime was interrupted by the shrill screech of her cordless telephone. Mac sighed heavily and reached over to the coffee table to pick up the offending device, clicked "Talk", and answered "Mackenzie."

"_Mac…"_

She recognized his voice immediately. Then, she heard the hurt oozing from him, even through the copper lines.

"Harm, I'm on my way," she said. Within four minutes and twenty – seven seconds, mac was making her way through her apartment door.

0115 Zulu / 2015 EDT

26 September, 1998

Harm's loft

North of Union Station

Mac knocked on Harm's door about 25 minutes after she locked hers. She didn't have to wait long (four seconds by her count) for Harm to open the door and let her in.

The crestfallen appearance of his face matched the sound of his voice mere moments before. Just looking at the near broken man in front of her made her heart ache for her best friend.

Mac made an executive decision and grabbing Harm by the arm, pulled him into an embrace that was tentatively, at first, returned by him.

Harm could feel the walls around his heart begin to crumble as he simply held Mac, grateful that she was simply willing to do so quietly while he gathered himself. They stayed that way for about three minutes…then the final wall fell.

Mac started to feel the sobs begin, faintly. They started in his chest, followed slowly by his shoulders. Eventually his entire upper torso was ravaged by them as his system finally caught up with his emotions. Throughout the episode, all he would say, between sobs, was, "He's gone, Mac. I can't believe he's truly gone now."

Mac stayed quiet as she was shedding silent tears of her own as her heart now broke for him, for the loss of his father.

Mac moved them over to the couch, where Harm's emotional bout started to subside. Finally, he settled down enough to be able to say, "Thanks, Mac. You have no idea how much you being here means to me."

Mac leaned to the side, away from Harm, and looked into his blue eyes, almost getting lost in them as he returned her gaze. What she saw there completed the heart breaking process as she closed her eyes and drew him close again.

Even with her eyes closed, Mac could still see what was embedded in Harm's: Loss, anger, bitterness, sadness, and (dare she even think it)…fear. Not the fear you face when being shot at or like what you face when facing a red-faced two star Admiral AJ Chegwidden. This was the fear of what happens next. Now knowing what happened to his father, a search that had spanned thirty years, what was he to do now?

She holds onto Harm, desperately trying to give him what strength she can spare, not wanting to look again in to his eyes for fear that she would not be able to stop her own crying she knew would come.

Now, her own private battle started to take place. For two years she has worked closely with this fierce friend, this man she had come to admire and care deeply for.

Maybe that was why she was having a hard time looking into his eyes…that she cared for him? She must have. She wouldn't have done this for just anyone. For Harm…without a moment's hesitation as she did tonight. One thing though: Does he feel the same way about her? He couldn't; he was still dealing with Diane's murder and confronting Holbarth for it.

But that kiss? Where did that come from and who was Harm truly kissing? Mac wanted it to be herself. She could still feel it on her lips, even months after the event.

She had never TRULY had these feelings for any other man. Chris was a mistake that she would have to rectify…and soon (seeing that she was still married to him). She had never loved Eddie, but he was her best friend in high school (she may never forgive herself for his death). John Farrell was a mistake she prayed would not come back to bite her on her six. Dalton Lowne was, yet, another mistake and another death she blamed herself for (also because she fell off the wagon).

Harm? He was another matter altogether. In the two years they had known each other, they had saved each other's' lives more than the collective digits on their hands and feet. Starting with their first assignment going after her uncle and ending with their recent trip to Russia. They had seen each other at their worst; herself last year, with Dalton's murder and her subsequent sobriety failure, and now with Harm's final loss of his father and subsequent emotional tirade.

Now, her second question came into play. Did he feel the same way about her? Being a Marine, her training kicked in and she bit the bullet as she decided to dive in, head long, and just ask, "Harm, I know this couldn't be a worse time to ask this, but how do you feel about me?"

XXXXX – XXXXX – XXXXX – XXXXX

This one's going to be short as I'm feeling my way through this and don't want to go too fast. Please let me what you think. BE HONEST! I'm a big boy. I can take it. :-) PM if you have recommendations or severe criticism and we can discuss it that way.

BTW: Change of destination for me and my wife. She was offered a better position somewhere else closer to home. So, no Texas for us. Just have to find myself a new job now. Good times. :-S Oh well, gonna post this so you all can enjoy (hopefully) it. Talk to you all soon and God Bless.


	2. Discussion and Decision

Wow! You guys like me! You really like me! LOL!

I've got to say that I never really expected this kind of response. There have been some really great suggestions regarding Brumby and Renee. One in particular, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

I will try to respond to your reviews in the future. I love the feedback and it helps drive the machine, so thank you.

Life still goes on and I hope to update as much as possible. I do still have my other story to continue (Life After the Toss). I'm not exactly sure whether or not to continue or wrap that one up. Kinda in a bit of a block with that one. Oh well. I'll keep plugging along with Russia until inspiration strikes.

Again, thank you for the follows, fav's, and reviews. Keep them coming and I'll do the same with the updates.

Alrighty then…ON WITH THE SHOW!

0145 Zulu / 2045 EDT

26 September, 1998

Harm's loft

North of Union Station

Harm pulled back a bit and just stared at her with a million things running through his mind. How he had thought about that very question since they kissed on the dock at Norfolk.

However, before he could form a response, Mac continued, "No, don't answer yet. I need to get this out first; then you can take all the time you need to answer.

"Harm, in the last two years, we've been through so much; more than any two people probably should. I've come to see you as my best friend, the one person I can turn to for anything…the only person I want to turn to for anything. I…I don't ever want to lose what we have. With my history, that's what happens. Men come into and out of my life so fast that it makes my head ache from all the spinning. You know that history and have never judged me for that. You have no idea what that has meant to me.

"I first realized you would never leave me up in that mountain when I got shot by those poachers. You were there for me when I got drunk after Coster killed Dalton; looking out for my career. I don't think I've ever, properly, thanked you for all of it. Harm, thank you so much for being there; for being you.

"We've spent so much time together, whether on investigations or bouncing strategy off each other on our various cases. I wouldn't trade those moments for anything. I've thought a lot about what this all means in regard to how I feel about you. I want to tell you so badly…but I'm afraid to tell you…in…in case…you…"

While she was talking, Harm was thinking along the very same lines as far as how he felt about Mac. As she said "in case you" he brought his finger up and touched it to her lips to silence her.

Harm stood up and started pacing in front of Mac, marshalling his thoughts, five strides to the right and then turning about ten the opposite direction. How he'd thought of the best way he would broach this very topic with her. He so wanted to take her in his arms and convey his desire for her with a searing, passion filled kiss. No, that was not the RIGHT way to go about this. She deserved so much more than desire and passion. She had received that from her previous lovers and that's not what he wanted for "them". Mac…no…SARAH Mackenzie deserved so much more than that from ANY man. She deserved love, affection, and everything she ever wanted but never received. She wanted "a great career, good man, and comfortable shoes; lots and lots of them." Harm chuckled inwardly at the memory.

She had the first and third wants. All that was missing was the one in the middle. Harm wanted to fill that void. However, with the knowledge and emotions he now had regarding his father's passing, Harm couldn't help but think that a relationship with Mac should wait. Would she let him have time to grieve? Would she allow him the time to get his mind and heart right? There was only one way to find out: Tell her every thought he had going through his mind.

_Ok, Harm. Deep breath…good. Let it out…SLOWLY IDIOT! There, that's it. Ok, now go sit down next to her…gently. Ok, now to give the closing argument of your life._ Harm thought as he put those thoughts to action.

Harm began, "Ma…Sorry…Sarah, I don't think I could have made it through the last two years if it hadn't been for you. You've been there to watch my six through hell AND high water, both literal and figurative.

"Whenever I got in over my head with investigations or just my stupid aviator pride, you were there both as a sounding board and a life preserver. You've done more for me than any one person should for another. You've become my partner, then my friend, then my best friend. I could never be able to thank you enough for all of that.

"Now that we've found out what happened to my father, I'm not sure that I am in any way, shape, or form mentally or emotionally capable of getting into any kind of romantic relationship with any woman…"

Mac was about to get up to leave when Harm touched her arm gently. She just wanted to get out of there, run home with her tail between her legs, and call the Admiral for a transfer as soon as one was available.

Then she stopped and turned to look Harm when he said, "Wait, please? I need you to hear me out all the way or you'll never have your answer.

"I need you to know that I don't want a relationship with any other woman but YOU. You, Sarah Mackenzie, are everything I want…no, need in my life. I don't want a life without you in it. It's just that right now…with…with knowing what happened to Dad…I just can't start something with you right now. My head is just swimming and my heart still hurts from losing him all over again.

"As far as any other woman goes, not a single one compares to you. You're beautiful, intelligent, strong-willed, caring, and an awesome lawyer to boot. How could I NOT love you the way I do? Yes, I said it. I love you Sarah Mackenzie. I love you so much that I don't want to get into a relationship with you right now with all my emotional baggage. You don't deserve that. You DO deserve so much more. I just don't know if I can give it to you RIGHT NOW. Would you wait for me?"

Mac blinked.

"Sarah?" Harm asked.

Mac blinked again.

"Sarah?!" He asked, a little louder this time.

Mac shook herself with a start and looked into his blue eyes. "I…I'm sorry. You lost me when you said 'love'. Harm, I have loved you for so long. I have loved you since you said you would defend my Uncle Matt. I have wanted to hear those words from you since we kissed on that pier at Norfolk. I knew I had to wait for you; even when I was with Dalton and left JAG. I had hoped that you would wise up and come to me since the frat regs wouldn't matter anymore.

"I want to be with you more than anything and I am willing to wait. However, Flyboy, you are not going to go through this time by yourself. I'm going to be right next to you throughout the whole thing. One thing you should do is go to Bethesda and see about talking to somebody about this. You need to talk to someone trained in grief counseling. This is going to be so hard on you IF you try and do it by yourself. I love you, Harm. Let me help. Please?"

The search for his father over the last thirty years had done nothing for Harm but help him close himself off from anyone who tried to help. It strained his relationship with his mother, especially when he ran off to 'Nam / Laos when he was fifteen.

His relationship with his step – father, Frank, was even worse. Harm resented the man for _trying_ to take his father's place. When in all actuality, Frank just tried to be there for the trouble boy he had come to love as his own flesh and blood; thus the money he made available to Harm recently. Harm hadn't requested Frank's help. Frank gave it openly without regard to how Harm felt. If Harm really thought about it, Frank did everything that a typical father does. He never took it personally whenever Harm screamed "YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER!" Frank was the only father figure Harm had growing up; and in small ways, was much more like him than Harm wanted to admit. Now, Frank was the only father Harm had. Harm would have to seriously consider building that relationship; if not for himself, then definitely for his mother.

More importantly, right now, was the woman he loved standing in front of him. He was taking his time to contemplate everything Mac…Sarah had just told him. She loved him. _'That's why she went with me, not just because Chegwidden ordered her. Damn, I love her even more now,'_ he thought to himself.

Harm looked at her once more and answered, "I'm not sure what talking to a head shrinker will accomplish. For you? I'll do it. I promise. I'll call tomorrow morning and make the appointment. For now, what do you suggest we do about 'us'? "

Sarah decided that now was as good a time as any for her confession. She stood and began to wear her own path directly where Harm had moments before. She truly hadn't wanted to tell _anyone_, but she had to tell Harm. Taking a deep breath, she began with, "I need to tell you something else which you're not going to like. Something else from my past that is still going on."

Harm looked at her with a quizzical expression that begged her to continue before he said, "Go on."

Again, she inhaled deeply and continued, "Harm, I told you that I left my father when I was seventeen, right?"

Harm just nodded.

"What I didn't tell you was that I moved in with a couple guys from high school that were living on their own. Eddie, my best friend, and Chris Raggle, whom I married after I turned eighteen."

Before Harm could respond, Mac held up her hand asking that he wait before continuing.

"We were both drunk and in Las Vegas. Since we were both 18, the chapel people didn't ask any questions. It was shortly after that when Chris was arrested for stealing a car. He was sent to prison for five years.

"Shortly after Chris was incarcerated, Eddie and I went to our high school prom. We got drunk and when we left, Eddie got behind the wheel to take us to another party, where we most likely would have continued drinking. We got about half way there when Eddie lost control of the car and we crashed. Eddie didn't make it."

At this point, Mac was shedding a steady stream of tears. Harm started to get up to comfort her, but was halted, once again, by her raised hand.

"I spent the day of my graduation still in the hospital. Once I was released, my Uncle Matt took me out to Red Rock Mesa to dry me out and kick some sense into me.

"The answer to the question I know is running around in your mind is: Yes, Chris and I are still married. The answer to your _next_ question is that I just could never afford the expense. That seems like a copout answer, I know. I knew I didn't want to be married to Chris anymore; considering he was the final link I needed to break to my past, other than my alcoholism and my parents. The truth is, I really don't understand why I haven't completed the divorce. There are no ties to him whatsoever, other than guilt for actually marrying that SOB."

Harm stood up at this point and walked over to the desk and sat on the edge. He couldn't believe what he was hearing right now. '_Married? What the…? How…? Why…?'_ were the thoughts going through his mind and Mac could see it.

For all his eloquence in a courtroom, Harm could not seem to form a single sentence let alone a single word. Harm was speechless for forty – eight seconds by Mac's count. When he finally did speak, he repeated his previous question, "So, what do you suggest we do about 'us'? "

Mac tried to read his face. There was no guile, no anger, nothing that would suggest he was upset with her. She took about six seconds to think, then said, "Monday morning I'm going to the legal services division and filing for divorce. After that, you and I can go talk to the Admiral about our change of status. I'm not sure what the Admiral is going to say considering we're in the same chain of command."

Harm stood up full, walked over to her and wrapped his arms around Mac, giving her a full blown 1.000 watt Flyboy Grin; which had the effect of making Mac's knees buckle. Sensing this, Harm hugged her tighter.

Mac squeaked in response to her sudden loss of feeling in her legs and Harm's subsequent assistance. Then she wrapped her own arms around him and tucked the left side of her face into his chest as Harm bowed his head down to kiss the top of her head.

To Harm, none of what Mac professed mattered to him. What mattered now was their new relationship and the resolution to the one large fly in the ointment; which would start to be taken care of in a couple days.

However, as all the emotions of the last couple weeks caught up with him again, tears started to come from Harm's eyes. Having lost his father, again, and with finding out that the woman he was holding loved him, and now with the utter fatigue thrown in; Harm began to slump over.

Noticing this, Mac asked, "Hey, Flyboy, why don't you get ready for bed. You've been through a lot recently and with the amount of rest that you have NOT had, you're exhausted. You go on and I'll take off and see you tomorrow."

Harm acquiesced to the first part of her request but wasn't ready for her to leave. "Why don't you stay? It's late and I wouldn't feel right letting you drive home this late at night," Harm asked as he looked at his watch and realized it was now well after midnight.

Mac bit her lip in contemplation and answered, "Are you sure? I don't want to overstay my welcome."

"Come on, Mac. It's not like we've never slept in the same room before."

"No, just never in the same bed."

"I promise I won't hog the covers."

"You better not, Squid."

"Hey, I don't make promises I don't intend to keep," Harm said before he let go of the biggest yawn Mac had ever seen or heard.

"Go on, Harm. You get changed first while I rummage around and get something for me to wear."

Fifteen minutes later found the two of them changed and in bed with Harm on top of the comforter with his own blanket. He was not about to do something that would be misconstrued as improper; not when they were just starting out.

Mac released a contented sigh and found herself, instinctively, draping her left arm across Harm's stomach and laying her head on his chest. In response, Harm pulled his left arm out from underneath his head and wrapped it around and behind Mac ending with his hand resting on her side.

Without saying another word, they fell asleep with the knowledge that this was _the_ beginning…

…_their_ beginning.


	3. Declarations

Halo everyone. You guy and gals are so awesome! Keep the reads and reviews coming. Thank you so much. For those that only read, thank you very much. I would appreciate a small note, if you want, to let me know what you think.

Hey Steamboat, we actually turned the offers down in Houston. So no. There will be no rooting for the Astros. I'm a St. Louis Cardinals fan through and through (as indicated by my handle). :-P SOOO looking forward to the upcoming baseball season. Go Cards! Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. They mean so much.

Jeanmary, I totally agree. Although Harm and Mac may behave like teenagers in a different way. ;-)

Liz, like the series, I like cliffhangers. :-)

JAG'ed, you have probably given me more to think about on the Bugme / Renee front. I'll think of something interesting...I hope...to do with those 2.

JP! Thanks for sticking with me, dude!

Anyway, please keep the comments coming. You all are my collective muse. I'll continue to try and keep things...close enough to canon while staying on track with where I see this going. I hope that y'all won't be disappointed.

PROGRAMMING NOTE: Not exactly sure when Harm told his mother about Senior, but I'm just going with not until after he got back to DC as you'll read soon enough.

That's enough from yours truly...ON WITH THE SHOW!

_Without saying another word, they fell asleep with the knowledge that this was the beginning…_

…_**their**__ beginning._

1215 Zulu / 0715 EDT

27 September, 1998

Harm's loft

North of Union Station

'_I want to be with you more than anything and I am willing to wait. However, Flyboy, you are not going to go through this time by yourself. I'm going to be right next to you throughout the whole thing_..._I love you, Harm. Let me help. Please?' Did she __**really**__ say that? __**She LOVES me?**__ She's going to be right beside me the whole way. SHE LOVES ME! God...I...wow! _These were the thought going through Harm's mind as he was on his (even earlier) Sunday morning run.

Typically Harm would be out the door sometime around 0745 – 0800. However, he was up at around 0545 today and decided that a good ten miles would help to wrap his head around everything that they talked about last night before falling asleep in each other's arms.

Sometime during the night, Harm abandoned the second blanket he was using to crawl, unthinkingly, beneath the comforter and next to Ma...Sarah.

Why, oh why, would he ever want to call her "Mac" again? "Mac" was the Marine. It was the name she used to keep new acquaintances and all of her friends at arm's length. It was her security blanket in case anyone ever hurt her, either intentionally or accidentally.

"Sarah", on the other hand, was the beautiful woman he woke up next to with a broken and bruised past. She was...the woman Harm fell in love with just over two years ago and had only just begun to understand his feelings for her.

To Harm, Mac was no more. All that remained, now, was Sarah; the one he had been waiting for...his Marine...his love...his...princess.

Now that Harm had finished his run, he was back inside the loft at about 0710 and was starting to get into his post run routine when he heard Sarah murmuring from the bed.

"Mmpharm," was what Harm thought he heard.

Harm was in the process of pulling his Naval Academy t-shirt off and answered, "I'm right here, Sarah."

When he finished his shirt removal, he looked over at her and what he saw nearly took his breath away.

Just getting up from the bed, Harm could see Sarah was wearing one of his dark blue 'Go Navy' t-shirts that was about four sizes too large for her, and which came down to nearly half thigh and covered a pair of Harm's running shorts. Her short bob was slightly messed up and she was clearing the sleep from her eyes. To Harm, even Helen of Troy couldn't make this vision look any better. Sarah was absolutely gorgeous, if he did say so himself. Which he did.

"God Sarah, you are so beautiful."

When she hears this, Sarah looks down at herself and then up at the full length mirror resting up against the wall. Wiping the errant strands of hair from her face, she holds her arms out to their full length, smirks up at Harm and retorts, "Yeah right, Rabb. I look like a freaking Victoria Secret supermodel right now," and then plops her arms to her sides to emphasize her sarcasm.

'_Rabb'? Where the heck did __**that**__ come from? Oh __**she**__ is going to be a joy to wake up to in the morning. Seriously, though, I __**am**__ looking forward to that part of our relationship,' _Harm thought.

Harm gives her a 1,000 watt Flyboy Grin, almost turning Sarah's legs to jello, and simply says, "You look pretty good to me, Ninja Girl."

Sarah gives a small gasp, which quickly turns into a yawn that takes up her entire face and responds bluntly, "Coffee! NOW!"

Harm points towards the kitchen in acknowledgement and Sarah shuffles herself in that direction so that she can get her initial caffeine fix of the day.

When she exits the bedroom, Harm ejects the rest of his running ensemble and steps into the shower.

Forty – five minutes and two showers later and the newly minted couple are lounging on the couch; Sarah nestled into the crook of Harm's neck with his arm draped around her listening to one of Harm's John Coltrane albums.

Tomorrow was going to be a very big day for them and they simply wanted to enjoy the peace and relative quiet this particular Sunday brought.

Lunch would be a simple salad and spaghetti with a light garlic butter sauce and baked garlic cheese French bread. For dinner, Harm would make a half and half lasagna; veggie half for him with Sarah's half containing some form of "dead animal".

About 1835, after dinner, they began talking about Sarah filing for divorce and then they broached the subject of having to talk to the Admiral.

"Harm, about what time did you want to go talk to the Admiral," Sarah asked.

"Well, that depends on when you get done in the Legal Services Office," Harm answered. Then after a quick moment's thought continued, "Listen, sweetheart, if that's going to be hard on you, I can go in with you...if you want."

Sarah smiled at the term of endearment that slipped out of Harm's lips then responded, "First off, I'm a Marine. I'm perfectly capable of going and getting my divorce started. Secondly, now that we are 'us', you _will not_ be overly protective of me. Third..." She paused to let her words sink in and then proceeded, "thank you, Harm. I will let you know if I want you there with me. I love that you're willing to do that for me and...I love you." She punctuated the last remark with a soft, meaningful kiss to his lips and then stood up taking his hands in hers. "There's a few things I need to get done today so that I'm ready to pass muster for tomorrow. I'll call you later tonight to check in on you."

With that, she planted another lip swelling kiss on Harm, and grabbing her jacket left his apartment.

Harm spent the rest of his day prepping his uniforms for the next week and puttered around the loft cleaning up the odds and ends from Saturday, including all the laundry from his trip to Russia.

0220 Zulu / 2120 EDT

28 / 27 September, 1998

Harm's loft

North of Union Station

After an emotional and heart – wrenching conversation with his mother and step – father over the fate of Harm Sr. and informing them of his new relationship with Sarah (which brought a not unwelcome smile to his mother's lips), Harm received his promised phone call from his new, and final if Harm had anything to say about it, girlfriend.

"Rabb..."

"_Hey there, Flyboy."_

"Hey yourself, Ninja Girl."

Sarah, unbeknownst to Harm, smiled at his new nickname for her. Noticing the angst in his voice she asked, _"Hey, is everything alright, Harm? Doesn't sound like it from where I am."_

Sighing audibly, Harm answered, "Oh, just got off the phone with Mom and Frank about an hour ago. I told them what happened to Dad. I'm not sure everything registered with her. When I told her that he was truly gone, she broke down and started to cry pretty hard. It breaks my heart for her to hurt like this, all over again, but Frank assures me that he'll get her through this. God, Sarah. I just..._damn it!_ I freaking hate this. I should have told her on the trip back."

"_Sweetie, don't do that. You can't blame yourself for your mom's reaction. You told her and that's what matters. She has Frank to help comfort her. Just give her a little time and then check in on her towards the end of the week. Hopefully she'll be doing better by then."_

Harm knew she was right. She ALWAYS was right when it came to things like this. "I know. You're right. I'm just trying to deal with my _own_ feelings right now. On top of that, I feel like I have to take care of Mom and how she's reacting to all this. Ugh, hopefully this doctor at Bethesda can help me. I'm kinda messed up right now. Maybe she can recommend some 'Mac Therapy'," he finished with a grin.

Sarah was wearing her own watery smile and Harm heard it when she next spoke, _"Well, Flyboy, I certainly hope so. Wouldn't be much of a girlfriend if I couldn't help out my boyfriend, now would I? Who are you going to see?"_

Harm pulled the small pad of paper that was sitting on the nightstand next to his bed and read, "Lieutenant Commander Jordan Parker. The appointment is set for tomorrow at 1600. I'm no good at talking to strangers about my life. You know that."

Sarah nodded and said, _"Yeah, I know Harm. Just look at it like you're talking to me and take it slow. I could come with you if you'd like. You know, for support?"_

Harm thought about her offer for a moment or two and then responded, "Thanks, Sarah. I think I'll go to this one by myself. Why don't I meet you at your place afterwards? That way you can _console_ me and I can make us dinner. I want you there badly, but I need to be able to go by myself. Thanks sweetheart."

A comfortable silence took over as the two were both thinking how easily they both took to terms of endearment so early in this burgeoning relationship.

They continued to talk for the next hour and forty – five minutes. When the time came to say 'goodnight', as with any couple who were in love with each other, neither wanted to be the first to say so. When Sarah let loose with a large and loud yawn, Harm mentioned that they should get some rack time and that he would see her in the morning. They each ended the conversation with 'Goodnight, I love you' and hung their respective phones up. They each fell asleep; safe in the knowledge that their life together had taken a much anticipated turn for the better.

As for their professional duties, they knew that Admiral Chegwidden could do several things to them. They would just have to weather the storm, if it came.

1532 Zulu / 0732 EDT

28 September, 1998

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

The Marine guards at the vehicle checkpoint were a bit surprised when they saw the classic red 1969 Chevrolet Corvette and its occupant roll up to be allowed access to the JAG property. After reviewing the military ID, snapping to, and delivering a boot camp crisp salute, the Marine corporal allowed the Lieutenant Commander to enter. Then she stepped back to the guard shack and commented to her Sergeant, "Sarge, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that couldn't have been Commander Rabb coming in _this_ early."

The Sergeant just sniffed at the corporal and responded, "Well Corporal, stranger things have happened. If I'm not mistaken, he actually looked like he was happy to be here this early. Let's not dwell on this too much. We don't need to be talking about this with anyone else, unless we want charges of _disrespect to a commissioned officer_ brought up against us."

Corporal Wilkins just shook her head and thought, _'I'll never understand two things in this life: Officers...and MEN!'_

Harm parked his 'Vette in the spot assigned to him, extricated his long form from the driver's seat, and grabbing his briefcase, locked the door just in time to see Sarah pull up in her well used Jeep. Offering her a wink and a smile he made his way to the JAG building and returned the offered salutes of the Marine guards waiting outside.

As he made his way inside, he held the door long enough for Sarah to enter and allowed her to precede him in signing in.

Giving a small prayer of thanks for the fact that they were the only two people on the elevator, he leaned down and gave Sarah a quick peck on her cheek.

Sarah looked up at him in bewilderment and asked, "What was that for, Harm? You know we have to keep _this_..." pointing to the both of them "out of the office. What if the doors opened and someone saw?"

"I've wanted to do that since we hung up last night. I didn't get to kiss you goodnight, so I thought I'd kiss you good morning," Harm answered with a full blown Flyboy Grin (which, he decided, he would now reserve for only her). This made Sarah visibly blush pink, even with her olive toned skin.

'_Wow! Who would have thought that __**Harmon Rabb**__ was such a romantic? Certainly not__** this girl**__! There is definitely more to __**this**__ man than I've already discovered. It's going to be fun getting to know him better,'_ Sarah thought. There definitely was more to the Top Gun aviator turned rising star attorney. She was going to take her time getting to know this man. Sarah was going to make sure that she took that time and cherish every moment, stolen or otherwise.

Sarah was brought back from her train of thought at the 'ding' of the elevator as it opened up on the third floor allowing the pair to enter the bullpen of JAG Ops and their respective offices.

With a silent agreement, they deposited their covers and other paraphernalia into said offices and met back in the galley for their perfunctory first cup of coffee, both silently hoping that Petty Officer Second Class Jason Tiner had, over the weekend, miraculously learned how to brew a proper pot of coffee.

Sadly, their caffeine hopes and dark roast dreams were dashed when they looked upon the...the...swill that was before them. It had more the appearance of a dark tea than actual coffee, with an inexplicable amount of grounds floating therein.

Sarah was the first to comment. "Well, looks like Marines are going to have to come to the rescue...AGAIN!"

Harm's snort of laughter was followed by, "In your _dreams_, Jarhead. There's only one other person in this office with the intestinal fortitude to stomach what you call a passable pot of coffee and he's..."

"Waiting _impatiently_ for said brew, Commander," came the gruff call from their CO, one Rear Admiral (Upper Half) AJ Chegwidden; at which the two O-4's snapped to and stood as straight as two by fours.

AJ grinned at his senior JAGs and said, "As you were. I trust you two had a pleasant weekend. How are you doing, Commander?" The sincerity was plainly evident with his last remark.

Sarah nodded her affirmative.

Clearing his throat, Harm grinned sheepishly and answered, "Weekend went well, sir. I'm doing about as well as I can, considering, sir. Thank you, sir. I was going to ask for a minute of your time later, but now seems as good a time as any. I need to secure at around 1300 today, sir. I've made an appointment at Bethesda to go talk to someone, sir. A good friend helped me realize that I won't be able to get through this just trying to barrel through on my own."

Harm's eyes never left the Admiral's, but AJ knew of whom Harm was speaking but decided to let it go...for now. Instead, AJ grunted and answered back, "That's a very good friend indeed, Commander. Request granted. Let me know what schedule, if any, arises from this appointment. I'll make sure you get the time you need, son."

Harm's mouth gaped at the last word that came out of the Admiral's mouth, as did Sarah's. Neither could believe they heard the battle hardened former SeAL's use of that particular term of endearment.

The trio were interrupted by the finishing gurgle of the coffee maker as it finished its brew cycle and walked out of the galley with their mugs filled to their own offices. Harm was still reeling from the Admiral's comment and had a hard time focusing on the paperwork that was on his desk.

Harm stayed at his desk like that until he hear a knock on the lentil of his office door. He looked up and smiled as Sarah walked in and said, "Hey, Flyboy. Only four minutes forty – six seconds until staff call. Better get your six in gear." Then she winked at him and sashayed away with a slightly exaggerated sway to her hips.

Harm stood up, gathered his brief case with legal pad and pencil, and exited his office and made it to his customary chair to the right of the Admiral near the head of the table in the conference room with seconds to spare as Tiner opened the door and barked, "Admiral on deck!"

1517 Zulu / 1017 EDT

28 September, 1998

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

The day's staff call went about as Harm had thought it would go with him only receiving a couple cases with minor infractions and Sarah receiving the same. The Admiral had come to the conclusion that after what the pair had experienced recently they had earned a, relatively, light caseload.

Immediately following staff call and having returned to her office, Sarah heard a knock at her door. Looking up she smiled at the intruder and invited him to enter and take up one of the guest chairs in front of her desk.

Seeing the questioning look on her face, Harm spoke up. "Hey, you about to head downstairs?"

Sarah gave a sigh of frustration and nodded. She knew that pursuing her divorce was a needed step for her if she wanted to begin her new life with Harm. Which she most definitely wanted.

Upon hearing and seeing the frustration coming from her, Harm asked, "Do you need me to go with you?'

Sarah simply shook her head and responded, "Need? No. Want? Yes but, like you, this is something I need to do myself. Thank you for the offer. Again, like you, I will probably need some support afterwards. Once I get back, we can go talk to the Admiral about us."

Ensign Harriet Sims (Roberts) was passing by precisely when Sarah was speaking the words "to the Admiral about us." Stopping dead in her tracks in front of Sarah's office, she turned to look upon her, in Harriet's opinion, friends slash mentors.

Seeing that Harriet was about to explode in jubilation, Sarah motioned for the Ensign to enter and close the door. Sarah looked up at Harriet's face and knew immediately what was going through the younger woman's head and forced a chuckle down. Not even giving Harriet a chance to speak Sarah said, "Harriet, I need you to calm down before you have an aneurism and fall dead on my office floor. Yes, Harm and I have agreed that we want a relationship. No. Nobody else knows but the three people in this room. Yes, Harm and I are going to take this to the Admiral. And...NO...we do not want _you_ to say _anything_ to _anyone_ about it." Seeing that Harriet was _still_ about to burst, Sarah continued, "You can't even tell Bud about this. Harm and I want to keep everything quiet for now until _we_ decide to bring anyone else into the loop. I know you have a..._penchant_...for..._information dissemination_, but we can't stress this enough: _No one can know_...yet. Please, Harriet, let us do this in our own time? I..._we_...promise that we will let you know when you can talk about this."

Given her and Bud's...tenuous...co-assignment, for lack of a better term, Harriet understood the need for discretion in the matter. Giving the pair a watery smile, she nodded her understanding and giving Sarah a wink, came to attention saying, "Yes, ma'am. By your leave, ma'am?"

Sarah smiled back at her friend and answered, "Go on. Git outta here."

With that Harriet nodded to Harm and winked, turned about, and exited Sarah's office.

Harm took a look at his watch and decided that it was time for him to get back to work. Leaning against Sarah desk with his fists Harm whispered with a smile, "Let me know how it goes, Jarhead. I love you."

Sarah nodded and responded, "Right back at you, Squid."

After about forty – seven seconds after Harm returned to his own office, Sarah gathered herself and what items she needed to take care of the task set before her. Then with all the Marine determination she had, she made her way down to the Legal Services Office one floor down.

About an hour and seventeen minutes later, she slumped down onto her office chair and heaved a huge sigh. _'Thank God __**that's**__ done. Now all I have to do is wait for the process to play itself out. Damn it! I'm a Marine! I HATE WAITING! Oh well. Such is life I guess. Now that's done, I look forward to spending time with my Flyboy,'_ Sarah thought.

Next item on the list was for her and Harm to go see the Admiral and inform him of their relationship. She was probably more scared of that because of what it could mean for both their careers if the Admiral chose to break up their partnership. They had worked so well together, she didn't want to lose that. She didn't want to lose any chance they had of being together. The Admiral would have several options available to him, including preferring charges of fraternization.

Sarah shook herself of that last thought as she stood up, giving off every appearance of the stoic Marine she had been trained to be and walked over to Harm's office.

Knocking on the door lentil, she stepped in and asked, "So, are you ready, Harm?"


	4. Told You I'd Get You!

Oh, you guys and gals rock! I love the feedback coming in. If you haven't yet and are enjoying the story, please leave a review. It doesn't matter if you are a member or not. Good, bad, or ugly; I would love to hear what you think. Please send any major gripes or criticisms to me in a PM. I'll see what I can do to fix any errors I can.

Alix33, you were absolutely correct with your lentil / lintel comment. I changed that to "frame" to fix that. :-)

JPSTAR57, yes I did dude! I had to end it there. I like cliffhangers. What can I say? I'm cruel like that. B-) Yes that was familiar. Can't wait for _your_ next update.

Steamboat, again, thanks for reading. I know it was a bit of a boneheaded move. That's our Harm.

Ad694, thank you for that. Brumby will be making his entrance...eventually. The same with Renee. Not telling how here. You'll just have to keep reading. ;-)

JAG'ed Bones in the Casckett, I appreciate the note. You wanted the meeting with AJ and here it is. :-) I've also included Harm's first session. Hope you like it.

And now...ON WITH THE SHOW!

_Sarah shook herself of that last thought as she stood up, giving off every appearance of the stoic Marine she had been trained to be and walked over to Harm's office. _

_Knocking on the door frame, she stepped in and asked, "So, are you ready, Harm?"_

1640 Zulu / 1140 EDT

28 September, 1998

RADM Chegwidden's office, JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

Harm knocked on the door frame that led to Admiral Chegwidden's inner sanctum after having asked Tiner if the Admiral was able to see him and Sarah. After hearing AJ's gruff "Enter," Harm opened the door and allowed Sarah to go before following her in as they traversed the ten to twelve feet that spanned between the door and AJ's desk.

As Harm stopped next to Sarah he began, "Thank you for see us on such short notice, sir."

Admiral Chegwidden peered at them over the top of his reading glasses with a questioning look on his face. "Hmm," he grunted. "At ease. What can I do for you, Commander, Major?"

Harm stole a quick glance at Sarah before clearing his suddenly scratchy throat and answering, "Well, sir, I...that is we...need to inform you of a change in our personal status, sir." For some reason, Harm couldn't escape the feeling that he was back in junior high and he had just been summoned to the principal's office and began to fidget nervously. This could go very badly for the both of them and couldn't hide his trepidation.

AJ saw this and gave a smirk as he had some idea as to what the pair had come to see him about after Harm's, rather inauspicious, beginning statement. He decided to let them stew in their collective juices for a few seconds before speaking again. "Well, take a seat and get on with it. I haven't got all day," he said in a grumbly voice.

The pair sat in the leather guest chairs in front of the desk; as usual, Sarah in the right and Harm in the left hand chair. Harm cleared his throat again and went to speak, but for all his eloquence in the courtroom, he was finding it extremely hard to form any coherent sentence let alone a single word.

Sarah saw his discomfiture and took it upon herself to speak for them both. "Sir, we have decided that we would like to see each other in an other than professional or social capacity, sir."

AJ grunted his understanding and asked, "This capacity would be of the romantic nature, I assume?"

Now, it was Sarah turn to become nervous as one of her legs began to shake offering the quick '_tap, tap, tap_' associated with the heel of her regulation pump wrapping on the floor.

Harm took up the proverbial baton and continued for her. "Yes, sir. We have admitted our feelings for each other and want to pursue a romantic relationship. We spent this past weekend discussing some things that we both needed to tell the other, sir."

"Hmm, I see. Didn't I order you two _not_ to get too familiar; that you would be working together," AJ asked in a slightly elevated and aggrieved tone.

This caused the two senior attorneys to shift uncomfortable in their chairs; the desired effect the Admiral was going for.

"Yes, sir," came the chorused answer.

AJ leveled a glare at the two of them. He had ordered them two years ago to not get too familiar. He had seen the look Harm gave Sarah when they first met and knew exactly why the look was given. At the time, AJ decided not to say anything about it. Now he didn't have a choice in the matter. "Do you know why that order was given?"

"No, sir," was the simultaneous response.

"I'm going to make this a little less formal. I saw the look that Harm gave you, Mac. I know why he looked at you like that. Has he told you about Lt. Schoenk?" After receiving an affirming nod from Sarah, AJ continued, "I was concerned that he would mistake you for her. At the time, he was one of my best investigators and I didn't want him to do something that would jeopardize his career by doing something inappropriate in assuming a familiarity that was not there.

"Up until now, I've been pleased with your collective performance and have notated your FITREPs as such. Have you both truly spoken about everything? I want you to be absolutely sure about this as this may have a damaging effect upon your careers."

Harm and Sarah looked at each other, having a quick silent conversation. Having shared a mutual agreement, Harm answered, "Yes, sir we have. Sara...uh...the Major and I spoke about that and several other things from our respective pasts. We've agreed that we want to see where this will lead."

AJ leaned back in his chair and ran through what Harm had just said. After about twenty – three seconds, by Sarah's count, he leaned forward once more; placing his elbows on the desk and clasping his hands together saying, "Alright then. As you two seem to have given this considerable thought, I'm going to tell you what I'm going to do." Returning to the formal, he rendered his verdict. "Commander, Major, I'm going to allow you two to continue to work together. While you are here, you will conduct yourselves with the same level of decorum and professionalism that you have thus far. You will continue to perform your duties at the same level or better, if possible. You will _not_ make me send a chaperone with you every time you two go into the galley. That's why we have broom closets." That last sentence was said with a sarcastic smirk. "Are we clear?"

Harm and Sarah had barely contained a snort of laughter, but recovered well enough to respond together, "Yes, sir!"

AJ stared at the two of them for a few seconds more before musing, "Very well. I believe you two have work to do. Since, Commander, you will be securing early today, I suggest you get to it."

Recognizing the implied dismissal, Harm and Sarah snapped to attention and paused the requisite two seconds before answering in unison, "Aye, aye, sir!" They, then, each performed a parade ground perfect about face and proceeded to exit the Admiral's office with Harm allowing Sarah to exit before him.

Before Harm could escape, AJ called out to him, "Commander?"

Harm stopped mid-stride, turned around, and answered, "Yes, sir?"

"Close the hatch and take a seat."

Sarah for her part had already made it through Petty Officer Tiner's anteroom and into the bullpen before she realized that she was no longer being followed. Turning around and noticing that the Admiral's office door was closed, she sighed to herself and made a mental note to talk to Harm about what happened after she walked out.

Doing as directed, Harm closed the door and returned to his customary seat in front of the Admiral's desk; all the while wondering what else the Admiral would need to say to him.

As Harm was acquiescing, AJ stood up and took a seat in the other guest chair. After Harm sat, AJ dropped his commander facade and began, "How are you doing, Harm? I know that what you've gone through the past few months couldn't have been easy on you. Although it wasn't the same way, I lost my father about twenty years ago. It's not easy no matter how it happens. I just wanted to know how you were coping."

Harm looked at his CO intently. He had never heard, nor seen, this side of the former Navy SeAL before and it was a bit unsettling hearing the Admiral refer to him with his the shortened version of his given name. Suddenly finding his throat dry and unable to utter anything, Harm nodded solemnly.

AJ, noticing this, looked in understanding and said, "Take your time, son."

Again, Harm nodded in acceptance of AJ's gesture. After the moment passed in which it took Harm to collect himself he was finally able to speak. "Thank you, sir. I'm doing about as well as I can. Ma...uh...Sar...um...permission to speak freely, sir?" Receiving AJ's grunt of approval, Harm continued, "Sarah came over Friday night after I called her. I was having a really hard time with everything, sir, and needed a friendly ear. She was the only one I could think of that might be able to help. After she came to my apartment, I told her everything that I was feeling. It seemed like it went on forever, my crying and mumbling gibberish aside. It was like thirty years of frustration, fear, anger, all of it flowed right out of me.

"Sarah told me that I shouldn't be going through this by myself and suggested that I go see someone. That's why I made the appointment to see one of the counselors at Bethesda, sir. She was right, as usual."

AJ nodded and said, "Yes, I agree with that assessment. By all means, get the help you need. Let me know if you will be getting a set schedule for the counseling and I will do what I can to make sure that you're able to get the time you need. Also, let me know if you need another ear. I'll make myself available for a beer."

Harm nodded and responded, "Thank you, sir. I'll keep that in mind."

Returning to the more formal form of address AJ quipped, "You do that Commander."

Harm stood in response to the implied precursor to his dismal before the Admiral continued, "And Commander, if you hurt the Major _in any way_..." He paused to give his words more emphasis. "...you will _not_ like the outcome. Do you understand?"

Harm gulped at the intimated promise of unpleasant retribution and answered, "Yes, sir!"

AJ, once again, leveled a glare at the junior officer and said, "Very well, Commander. Dismissed."

Harm stiffened into a brace and barked out, "Aye, aye, sir!" He then turned about on his heel and exited the Admiral's office.

AJ sat back in his chair, and with a wry grin thought, _'What the hell took those two so damn long? I'll have to check in with Tiner and Ensign Sims on the office pool. I may have to change the date I picked.'_ With that, AJ gave a short chuckle and returned to his JAG duties.

1715 Zulu / 1215 EDT

28 September, 1998

Harm's office, JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

Harm sat in his office going over the conversation with the Admiral in his head again. He was still surprised that the Admiral was able to turn his 'CO Mode' on and off with such precision and timing that a Swiss watchmaker would have been impressed.

Harm's ruminations were interrupted by the double knock on his door. When he looked up, a small smile creased his lips at the recognition of the welcomed intruder. Knowing the scuttlebutt mongers in the bullpen always had their ears perked for juicy tidbits of gossip, Harm kept a professional tone to his voice and said, "Well, hello Major. What can I do for you?"

Sarah returned his smile and answered, "Commander, I was wondering if you'd like to go to lunch." Then, in a softer tone, asked, "Is everything ok? I turned back after I left the Admiral's office and you weren't there."

Harm nodded and replied, "Yeah, Mac. Everything's good. The Admiral just wanted to see how I was doing and to offer help and / or advice if I needed it. Before I walked out he even gave me a warning."

His last statement surprised Sarah and she asked, "Warning? What warning would he need to give _you_?"

Harm feigned a look of fear and responded, "Oh, nothing much. He just insinuated that I would not like the outcome if I, for some reason, hurt you _'in any way'_. Some form of physical retribution I reckon."

Sarah chuckled lightly and mused in a sarcastic tone, "Is the normally unflappable Harmon Rabb scared of a certain former SeAL?"

Harm chuckled himself and retorted, "When said former SeAL wears a set of two stars and growls like a Rottweiler? You bet I am! So, in deference to my well – being, I fully intend to follow his suggestion to the letter."

By this time, Harm and Sarah had made their way to the commissary. After making their selections and paying the cashier, they made their way out to the patio to take in one of the last good days of weather before fall takes full effect.

As they were surrounded by other members of the JAG staff, which were themselves enjoying the mild early fall weather, Harm and Sarah kept their discussion light with talk about their respective cases and the occasional mention of the upcoming weekend. With their lunch consumed, they cleared the table they were at and began their trek back to the Ops floor and their offices.

As fortune smiled on them, they found themselves alone in the elevator. With this development, Harm took a chance and decided to lift the hand closest to him and lightly kiss her knuckles. This caused Sarah's face to turn a shade of pink as the unexpected show of affection surprised her. She looked up him with a questioning expression on her face.

"Harm, you know you can't do that here. What if someone saw that? We're supposed to keep this..." motioning between them "...out of the office. Not that I didn't like it, but what were you thinking," she kindly reprimanded him.

Before Harm could form a response, a _ding_ rang out from the elevator signaling that the device had reached the required floor. Allowing her to precede him out, he spoke just loud enough for Sarah to hear, "Because I wanted to."

The simple response only caused Sarah to blush more. Looking around for anyone who might hear her, she returned, "Don't do that to me. Now I need to go to the head and cool off before I go back to my office." Making her way to her new destination she quietly threw back over her shoulder, "I'm gonna get you for that, Squid!" Then she smiled so to take any sting her remark may have had.

Harm chuckled at that and then proceeded to his office.

The rest of the afternoon was uneventful as the entirety of JAG ops was silently going about their work.

Eventually, 1515 rolled around and it was time for Harm to secure for the day and make his way to Bethesda for his appointment. _'This is going to be interesting,'_ Harm thought as he got into his Corvette to leave.

2100 Zulu / 1600 EDT

28 September, 1998

Waiting room, Psychological Ward, Bethesda Naval Hospital

Bethesda, Maryland

Harm had arrived at his appointment about fifteen minutes early so that he could fill out the requisite forms. After having done so, he only had to wait another five minutes when he heard the Yeoman call out, "Lieutenant Commander Rabb? The doctor will see you now. This way please, sir."

Grabbing his cover from the seat next to him, Harm got up to follow the Petty Officer to the doctor's office. Having arrived at the designated location, the Petty Officer said, "The doctor will be right with you, sir."

Harm nodded his thanks and began his inspection of the office. There were all the certificates of a naval officer and psychologist hanging behind the doctor's desk one might expect. _'Hmm, no stereotypical couch for me to lay down on and tell all my darkest secrets? Interesting,'_ Harm thought.

His ruminations were interrupted when the office door was opened. The doctor entered the room and began the introductions. "Lieutenant Commander Rabb? I'm Lieutenant Commander Jordan Parker."

With introductions made and hands shook, Harm sat down in the proffered visitor's chair and waited for the inquisition.

"Just a couple of things before we start. First off, there are no ranks while we're in session. So, what do I call you," Jordan began.

"Harm."

"Ok, Harm. You can call me Jordan, Doctor, or Doc; whichever makes you more comfortable. Secondly, my job is to help you deal with whatever it is you are dealing with. Finally, I see you are a lawyer and are familiar with attorney – client privilege. The same goes in here. I'm bound by doctor – patient confidentiality. I can only divulge anything you've said if you intimate that you are going to hurt yourself or others. Like your profession, this is so that we can build a level of trust with our patients.

"Now, with that out of the way, what brings you here today, Harm?"

Harm shuffled nervously in his chair. He was not used to speaking about his feelings with anyone he didn't know, especially any type of doctor. Summoning his courage and his lawyering skills, he began, "After about a thirty year search for my father, I recently found out what happened to him. I'm having a hard time coming to grips with what I found. I've also entered into a relationship with the woman I love and don't want my recent experience to jeopardize it."

Jordan nodded and answered, "I see. So, when did your search for your father begin?"

"It all started Christmas Eve 1969 when my father was shot down on a mission. He was an F – 4 pilot in Vietnam flying off the _Ticonderoga_. I was six at the time he went down. At the time, he was pronounced MIA. By the time I was thirteen, I had come to the decision that I was going to find out what happened to him, no matter what the cost or what I had to do.

"When I was sixteen, I found out that a former Marine was in 'Nam looking for MIAs who might still be in hiding or locked up in camps. Without my mother and step – father's permission or knowledge, I used all my savings and some money I nipped from my step – dad and went to 'Nam looking for the Marine to see if we couldn't find my father. While I was there, I came to know a Vietnamese girl named Gym. She was helping Colonel Stryker with his search. We became quite close.

"Anyway, we were walking along the 'Nam / Laos border when a Laotian border patrol in a chopper discovered us and started to fire on us. Stryker and I were able to get ahead of the attack and to safety." Harm stopped at this point and gave a visible shudder, not unseen by Jordan.

"Please...continue Harm," she encouraged him.

Clearing his throat and his emotions, he continued, "Gym was hit...She...didn't make it.

"Stryker and I never did find my father or any other POW / MIA. I returned to San Diego with my tail between my legs, even more determined to find my dad."

Jordan nodded and commented, "That experience would be enough to make anyone else give up. Why did you feel that you had to keep looking?"

"I guess you could say that I became obsessed with finding him. After I got home, my mother grounded me until _'they find a cure for children who scare the tar out of their parents'_ my mother said."

"Did that experience change you?"

"In retrospect, I'd have to say that it did. Before I left for 'Nam, I was a handful for my mom and step – dad; always getting myself in trouble."

"Why was that?"

"Seven years after Dad went MIA, Mom had him legally declared dead and soon after married my step – dad, Frank Burnett. This piss...uh...ticked me off to no end. I was furious that Mom was so willing to write Dad off and move on like he never existed. I hated Frank for barging in and trying to take Dad's place. I started getting into fights at school and racking up tons of detention hours. If I wasn't getting in trouble at school, I was fighting with Mom and Frank at home."

"What changed?"

"I guess I did. After I got back from 'Nam, Mom sent me to live with my Dad's mother in Belleville, Pennsylvania. She owned a farm out there that her grandfather built in the 1870s and she's still there. I did more chores and manual labor than I had ever thought possible.

"After 'Nam, my whole attitude changed. I became focused on following in my father's footsteps by getting into the Naval Academy and becoming a pilot. At the time, I figured that it was the only way that I would get to be close to Dad. I needed something that would keep me connected to him.

"After that first summer at my grandmother, Grams', farm, I asked if I could keep going back there every summer. Since Mom didn't want to keep me from my grandmother, she let me go every year until I graduated. It also was a chance to be close to Dad since that's where he grew up.

"One day at Grams' place, that first summer, I was going through the barn looking for some tools to put up some shutters. I came across something huge with a giant tarp draped over it. I pulled off the tarp and found an old bi – plane that had looked like it had seen _much_ better days. In one of Dad's work benches, I found the plans he had drawn up to fix the plane up. They said that it was a Boeing – Stearman Model 75 Kaydet, tail number NR153. I covered the plane back up and went to ask Grams what it was doing there. She told me that my father was planning on rebuilding her from the ground up."

Harm was about to continue when Jordan spoke up, "I think this is a good place to stop for today, Harm. Looks like we've just started at the tip of the iceberg. Now for your homework. I want you to focus on your relationship with your mom and step – dad. Write down how you want to, if necessary, repair that. Then I want you to think about where you want your relationship with your girlfriend to go and write that down.

"I'm going to set up a schedule of treatment for three days a week, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. We'll go on like this for the next couple of months and re – evaluate at the end of November. I may change this as needed depending on your progress. Do you have any questions for me?"

'_Ugh! Three days a week for two months? Is __**she**__ crazy?! Crap! Suck it up, Rabb! You promised Sarah and you're going to keep that promise,'_ Harm thought to himself. Internally shaking himself from his thoughts, he responded, "Sounds like a plan. There may be times when my duties take me out of the area for various investigations and such. If I'm not overseas, is there a way that we may have a few sessions over the phone, Doc?"

Jordan thought about this for a moment before replying, "That may be possible. Just be sure to call when you know you'll be gone and we'll work something out. In the meantime, my next appointment should be here soon. Thank you for coming in. I will see you on Wednesday."

Harm rose and shook Jordan's hand saying, "Thanks Doc. I'll see you then." Then Harm exited the office to make his way home.

2400 Zulu / 1900 EDT

29 / 28 September, 1998

Sarah Mackenzie's apartment

Georgetown, Maryland

It had been agreed upon at lunch earlier that day that Harm would pick up some food from their favorite Chinese restaurant and they would eat at Sarah's place tonight.

Having heard a knock at the door, Sarah got up from the couch and walked over to answer it. After looking through the Judas hole, she immediately pulled the door open and allowed Harm to enter.

Once he had deposited the bags of food onto the kitchen table, Sarah launched herself at him. Harm barely had time to react and was just able to catch her in mid – flight before the force of Sarah's momentum forced him up against the wall with a thud, nearly knocking a picture off the wall.

After she had been caught, Sarah proceeded to kiss Harm with such strength and authority that it knocked the rest of the air out of Harm's lungs. It wasn't until Harm started going weak in his legs that she finally pulled her lips away, allowing him to breathe once more.

It took a few moments for Harm to gather himself so that he could finally ask, "What on Earth was _that_ for, Marine?"

Sarah had a grin on her face that the Cheshire Cat would be envious of when she lightly used her forefinger to help Harm close his mouth saying, "Told you I'd get you back, Flyboy."

When she pulled her finger away, Harm's jaw dropped to the floor as he watched her sashay away with a sultry sway to her hips.

As Sarah returned to her perch on the couch, she could swear that she heard a _thud, thud, thud_ coming from where she had just been.

Harm was softly banging his head up against the wall.

Sarah had, finally, rendered the former aviator turned lawyer speechless.

XXXXX – XXXXX – XXXXX – XXXXX

PROGRAM NOTE: Like I said in the first chapter, I'm going to skipping a few chapters, adding notice to what happened as it just doesn't fit with where I see this going. Therefore, episodes 5-7 are gone ("The Martin Baker Fan Club", "Act of Terror", and "Angels 30"). I should be able to fill those in with new stuff. Just trying to work my way through that.

The next chapter may include "Embassy".

Thanks for reading.


	5. Duty Calls

Here we go again. Another chapter, another St. Louis Blues early exit from the Stanley Cup Playoffs, another stint on the Disabled List for the St. Louis Cardinals' ace pitcher. Must be late April. :-S

Once again, you all are awesome. I absolutely love the feedback you peeps are sending me. Keep up the reviews. They really help guide me.

For all the new readers who have followed and / or favorited this saga, thank you so much. Please feel free to review if you are so inclined.

CdnJAGScribe: I always thought that AJ considered Harm and Mac as his surrogate children, along with Bud and Harriet. I'm just trying to stick with that.

Ky111: Thanks for the review. I've got an idea as to where, when, how, or if I have them get engaged or whatever. You'll just have to keep reading. ;-)

Alix33: Once again, you've kept me on my toes with my writing. Don't stop, it really helps. I'll try and keep the humor going. Thanks.

Steamboat: One of the anchors on MLB TV said that he was picking your Mariners and my Cards to face off in the World Series with Seattle taking the series. I hope only the first half of that prediction is right. :-) We'll see how Harm does in his sessions. You are correct, though. Lawyers and shrinks...sparks could fly, LOL!

Bones: Yes, I did just use the Star Trek nickname. :-) Thank you so much, for the review and for sticking with me.

Jpstar57: We'll just have to see how the whole Bugme / Ragle / Renee things play themselves out. Although I do like the relative suggestion. We'll see.

J: Thanks for reading and...hopefully...enjoying.

Bythepalmtrees: No matter how you have read this story, I'm just grateful that you are. Thank you so very much for your words. It truly means a lot to hear them said.

Whew, that took a while. :-)

Once again, JAG and its characters are none of my own creation. They are the property of the creator of Quantum Leap and CBS / Paramount. They messed things up royally. I'm just trying to improve on them. :-p

You know what to do...ON WITH THE SHOW!

_As Sarah returned to her perch on the couch, she could swear that she heard a __**thud, thud, thud**__ coming from where she had just been. _

_Harm was softly banging his head up against the wall. _

_Sarah had, finally, rendered the former aviator turned lawyer speechless._

0200 Zulu / 2100 EDT

29 / 28 September, 1998

Sarah Mackenzie's apartment

Georgetown, Maryland

Dinner was enjoyed in relative silence, except for the perfunctory exclamation of enjoyment from either participant as they shared the meal, which only lasted for about thirty minutes.

The next hour and a half were spent recalling their individual efforts to strengthen their burgeoning relationship. With it being so early in the proceedings neither were ready to use the word 'romance', even if that's exactly what Harm _and_ Sarah both wanted to term this.

"...She even gave me an assignment at the end of the session. I've got until 1600 on Wednesday to get it done. Actually voicing my feelings for you was difficult enough after the two years we've known each other. Writing them down about Mom and Frank are damn near going to _kill_ me," Harm finished indignantly.

Sarah gave a sarcastic snort before responding in an even more sarcastic tone, "Aww, did the big bad teacher give you homework on the first day of school? You _poor, poor _baby. Come here, Momma Mac will take the hurt away." Then in her normal voice followed up with, "Hey, at least you didn't have to file for divorce with no idea as to where your estranged spouse is so they can be served. The last time I heard of Chris was he was in prison for an auto theft. I just hope I don't run into him anytime soon. I've got more important things I look forward to dealing with." The last words were said quite saucily and with a glimmer of longing in her chocolate brown eyes.

Harm knew exactly what she was talking about. As much as he wanted the same, he also knew that anything more than kissing and caressing were going to have to wait until they were farther down the line. He had enough relationships that turned physical too soon only to end...rather rough and abrupt. _'This time is different. This time it's real and...hopefully...forever,'_ Harm thought.

As had happened many times since they'd been partnered together, Sarah could see what was running through his mind and said, "Harm, I hope I'm not assuming facts not in evidence by saying this, but I want us to wait for anything physical...well _more_ physical that what we already have. I love how I feel when we're together like this. We don't need anything complicating _us_ more than you and I already have.

"We've each started something that could have the potential to blow up in our faces. We don't need to add sex into the mix. I love you and I want to be with you for as long as you'll have me."

Harm smiled at her and replied, "I love you too, Sarah. I think you're getting to know me _too_ well as it is. I was just thinking along those lines. So...no, Counselor, assuming facts not in evidence is overruled. Look, we're just going to have to take this one day at a time. Steady as she goes, Marine. Fair warning, though; yours truly has a tendency to stick his foot in his mouth, sometimes all of his appendages. So don't go all amphibious assault on me the next time it happens."

Sarah was going to respond when she was interrupted by one of her more melodious yawns. Upon seeing the curled lips and beginnings of a deep – chested chuckle coming from the guest occupant of her couch, she glowered at him and grumbled, "Squid, if you don't want to remove said appendages from your face, _keep your pie hole shut!_"

Harm increased his grin and gave her an Oscar worthy shudder. He looked at his aviator's watch as he replied, "Well, would you look at the time. I reckon I oughta mosey muh-self on outta here. Y'all have a good eve'nin, ma'am," in a highly exaggerated Texas drawl (that would have had Meg Austin slapping the back of his head at the pathetic attempt) as he tipped his non – existent ten gallon hat.

Sarah laughed heartily at the absurdity of the acting that had just been performed. "Go on. Get out of here, you crazy Flyboy," she managed to get out before reaching up to give him a chaste kiss on the lips. "I love you, Harm."

Harm kissed her back with a bit more eagerness before answering, "I love you too, Sarah. I'll see you tomorrow." He then grabbed his cover from the dining table and left her apartment.

He was really beginning to hate this part of the evening. It had only been a few days since they had decided to start dating, but this part was already starting to get hard for him...both of them...to deal with. However hard this was for them both, neither wanted to do anything that would mess it up.

'_You've got it bad Rabb. Just take it easy and let things happen naturally for once in your life. She's worth it. Don't do anything to rush this. TAKE YOUR TIME!'_ These were Harm's thoughts as he traveled back to his loft.

At the same time in her bed, Sarah was having very much the same conversation with herself. _'Come on, Mac. You rushed into things with Chris, Farrow, and Dalton. Look how those turned out. You know you're head over heels in love with Harm. Just slow down. Don't rush it. Things could end up better than you think. You've got all three things you want in life now. Just enjoy being with Harm. Go out on plenty of dates and nature let take its course.'_

With their thoughts on the other, both Harm and Sarah fell into their own restful sleep.

1300 Zulu / 0800 EDT

29 September, 1998

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

Lieutenant (Junior Grade) Bud Roberts and his wife, Ensign Harriet Sims, were having a small debate as to whether or not to adopt a dog. Bud, as per usual, had been doing some research on various breeds.

Reading from one of his sources he quoted, "'The Jack Russell terrier is fun-loving and extremely intelligent.'"

Harriet was pouring herself a mug of coffee as she asked, "Why are you showing me this?"

"I thought it might be nice if we got a puppy."

"A puppy?"

"Look at his little face," Bud says showing his wife a picture.

"Oh, I can't believe you," Harriet answered, bordering on frustration. "You think that if you can convince me to get a puppy that I won't wanna have a baby."

"What? No, that's ridiculous. You know I want kids. But now that you mention it, we might be smart by getting a puppy.

You know, kind of like a dry run for children."

With a slightly surprised look on her face Harriet responded, "Oh, I see. So if I do a good job housetraining a pet, you might consider me for the mother of your child?"

"No," was Bud's answer. It was the wrong one. However, given Bud's hindsight later, there was NO good answer to _that_ question.

With her eye brows now hidden by her golden bangs, she replied indignantly, "No?" Then Harriet started to march her way towards the galley exit.

"I mean, of course not," Bud responded as he made his way to follow her.

"I can't even believe you."

Bud tried one last time to try and calm his wife saying, "Harriet, that's not what I meant."

Meanwhile, Harm had decided that it was time to pack up everything he had regarding his father in his office. As he was looking at the picture of a five year old Harm, Jr and his father, Harm was remembering something from one of the letter tapes Harm, Sr. made.

"_Trish, give Harm a big hug and a kiss for me and be strong, honey. I'll be home soon. I love you guys."_

Harm was brought back to the present when he heard "Hey," come from his office door. Standing there was Sarah.

Harm smiled when he saw her and said, "Come in. I'm just putting some of this stuff away. You know, just filing away memories." He suddenly stops what he's doing, steps back, and sits down in his office chair, feeling dejected.

To Sarah, he looks as if he's about to revert to building his walls back up as he's done for so long. All she wants to do is come around the desk, stand behind Harm, wrap her arms around him, and take away whatever it is he's feeling right now. This she doesn't do. Instead she leans against the side of his desk and offers, "You're not filing away memories, Harm. You'll have those forever."

Harm looks up at her, nods his head, and says, "Thanks, Mac. I think I'll keep some of this..." gesturing to the items on his desk, "...out, even if it's just a couple pictures of him. It'll help me feel like he's still close. At least I've still got _Sarah_. That way I can still go flying with him." With his last sentence, his countenance seemed to clear and he was almost beginning to feel as if he were actually going to be able to move on with his life and gave Sarah a full blown Flyboy Grin.

Seeing his smile back, Sarah took this as her cue to exit Harm's office. She was interrupted by a knock on the door.

Both Harm and Sarah looked and Bud was leaning in the doorway. "Sir, ma'am, the Admiral wants to see you ASAP," Bud said.

Sarah and Harm made their way to the Admiral's office. Upon being bid to enter, the pair did so and stopped three feet in front of the Admiral's desk.

Harm spoke up for the pair offering, "Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb and Major Sarah Mackenzie reporting as ordered, sir!"

AJ eyed them ruefully and responded, "At ease you two and take a seat. I believe you know my guest."

Once seated, Harm and Sarah looked up to see a man dressed in a dark blue, three piece suit make his way to stand next to the Admiral's desk.

The man gave them a wry grin and said, "Mac, Rabb, long time no see."

Harm grimaced internally. He had no love, or even liking for that matter, for the man standing in front of him. The man had nearly gotten Harm and Sarah killed by Colonel Parlovsky by withholding information about the weapons the Colonel was trying to procure and sell. In the end, they had been saved when AJ raced in and saved them while Harm shot the Colonel.

Eying the man suspiciously, Harm answered, "Can't say it's been long enough, Webb."

Hearing this, AJ barks at his subordinate, "That's enough, Commander! The _'Special Assistant to the Undersecretary'_..." spoken with a heavy undercurrent of sarcasm at Webb's euphemism, "...is once again asking for JAG's help. Go ahead, Webb."

Webb cleared his throat before starting, "Seven weeks ago, the Sudanese president was assassinated. No one's claimed responsibility. But ever since then, two parties have been fighting for control." Picking up a couple photographs he continued, "In the south, General Hyad Zulake, leader of the Sudanese Freedom Party; old school, hard-core. In the north is Ambassador Ki Moshak; new school, politically savvy.

General Zulake is all muscle. Ambassador Moshak is all brains."

Sarah pipes up and says cheekily, "Sounds like they should get together."

To this AJ muses, "Probably will at ten paces."

Once again, Webb takes up the reigns. "This would leave room for Professor Dubotu, who's the heart and soul of his country, a poet who speaks for the people."

"Whoever he endorses wins the election," chimes AJ.

Harm asks, "Which way is he leaning?"

"Nobody knows," Webb answers.

Sarah chortles, "Sounds like he should run for election," as she tries to get a look at the picture of Professor Dubotu.

"The professor despises politics," the Admiral explains.

Webb continues once again. "He was supposed to sit down with our president last Thursday, but he never showed."

Harm responds, "Kidnapped?"

"Most likely. Ambassador Moshak and General Zulake are, of course, blaming each other," Webb answers as he collects the passed photos.

AJ stands up, walks around to the side of his desk. While crossing his arms, he explains, "Sudan has a strategic importance to this country. It borders Libya and the Red Sea. Iran has a base in the port of Suakin. General Zulake will not allow an American presence in his country. Ambassador Moshak will."

"Guess who we're rooting for," Harm vocalizes.

Webb, in his usually cocky attitude, says, "Commander, I understand you've been invited to an embassy party Ambassador Moshak is giving to solidify his support."

Sarah raises her eye brow and remarks, "You know the ambassador?"

Harm shifts in his seat. "Not really. I took him for a ride in a Tomcat once. Part of the Pentagon's plan to woo him to our side," he acknowledges.

"Well, this is a perfect opportunity for the two of you to learn if he knows anything about the professor's abduction," Webb articulates.

AJ speaks up, once again, saying, "The ambassador likes to surround himself with military types. He thinks it helps boost his image as a leader."

"So you and the Major will have the perfect cover. Going in as yourselves," Webb utters.

"Cover for what," Sarah asks.

Webb, by this time, had stepped behind Sarah and Harm during the conversation and starts walking back to where he started. "We need you to access the embassy's computer system," he supplies.

Suddenly feeling knots tying themselves in his stomach, Harm retorts, "You want us to break into a foreign embassy's computer? What aren't you telling us, Webb? This had better not be another setup."

AJ begrudgingly offers, "SECNAV has approved this operation."

As the one most in tune with the concept of time, Sarah utters, "When's the party?"

"1900 tonight," was the Admirals reply.

Sarah nearly chokes on her tongue at this revelation. She recovers well and rebuts, "Tonight? But my dress uniform's at the cleaners, sir. I don't have a dress. I haven't done my hair..."

Understanding where she's going, AJ interrupts, "Your hair is fine, major; and Webb's taking care of the dress."

"You don't even know my size," she poses to Webb.

With a near smirk at the corner of his mouth, Webb chuckles internally and blatantly responds, "36 – 24 – 36; five foot eight, plus; one hundred and thirty pounds."

When he heard Webb's answer and the look the CIA agent had on his face, Harm had to muster every last ounce of self – control he could to NOT break Webb's nose again.

Sarah had to gather her control as well. One just does not air _any _woman's dimensions in _any_ conversation; if he knows what's good for him. "A hundred and twenty thank you very much," she murmured in a slightly softer, yet rather irritated voice. Afterwards she shot a look at Harm that screamed, '_Don't you DARE say a word, Flyboy!'_

For his part, Harm gave a small shake of his head and found something _very _interesting on the wall behind the Admiral's desk.

AJ choked down the urge to roll his eyes and merely sat back in his office chair and turned away from everyone else in the room; lest a grin make a sudden appearance on his face...which he was also able to withhold.

Sarah pursed her lips together and sat back in the chair she occupied and eyed the three men in the room with an incredulous expression on her face.

Webb began to bring the meeting to a close with, "Major, I'll have someone contact you within the next couple hours so that she can help you get ready. I'll see you all back here tonight about an hour before you have to leave for the embassy."

"Thank you Mister Webb. We'll see you tonight. Major, you're dismissed. Please secure once you've been contacted. Commander, stay back a moment if you will," AJ ordered.

Once Webb and Sarah exited the office, AJ sat down in the seat that Sarah had occupied. "Commander, I won't be able to tell you this later. So, don't you dare let the slick talking pencil – neck screw this up. You take every precaution to get the job done and get out of there safe. Do you understand me," AJ growled; more ticked off at Agent Webb for yanking his people into another of Webb's hair brained schemes.

Harm knew exactly what the Admiral meant, but _couldn't_ say. The underlying meaning of his CO's words had been unheard but, most definitely, received just the same. He nodded solemnly and replied simply, "Yes, Admiral."

While this conversation was playing out, elsewhere, Bud had managed to pull both feet and legs out of his mouth and apologize to his wife using a bouquet of flowers. As he was explaining how his mouth sometimes gets ahead of his brain, Harriet begins to accept his apology before she spins around, turns green and hot foots it out of the bullpen; to Bud's astonishment.

Bud looks aghast as she almost sprints away. He then sighs as he says, to no one in particular, "What did I say now?"

2350 Zulu / 1850 EDT

29 September, 1998

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

Harm was in his mess dress uniform staring at the blueprints Clayton Webb has placed on Admiral Chegwidden's desk and studies them as Webb explains what he's supposed to be doing. Taking it all in, he begins to think that Webb's plan may actually _not_ go pear shaped. That is until Webb says, "There's a maximum of two men watching the monitors at any one time. If you can get them out of the room, you're home free."

And there it was: the proverbial fly in the ointment. Harm looks the man, who is about four inches shorter, in the eye and communicates his new - found disbelief, "Now, how am I supposed to do that, Webb?"

Webb catches something moving in the corner of his eye and turns his head as if to say, _'There's your answer.'_

Harm follows Webb's gaze. What he sees, he can only describe as the closest thing he has ever seen to what could be considered a goddess. Sarah was leaning against the door frame to the office wearing a blue, sleeveless, floor length dress with a slit that ran a quarter of the way up her left thigh. It clung to her every curve and revealed only a modest amount of cleavage.

'_My God, she is absolutely beautiful. I've got to make sure I tell her that at some point tonight,'_ Harm thought.

Webb had his own thoughts on how Sarah looked. However, his ruminations were of a more...carnal nature.

Had Harm known what he was thinking in that moment, the world would have had one less inept CIA agent and Harm would have been sentenced to Leavenworth.

AJ simply looked at her as he would have his own daughter. His thoughts were more along the lines of a father whose daughter was going to prom. His thoughts for Harm were the same as when the couple had made their relationship known to him.

Sarah had her own thoughts running around in her head. _'Hmm, dress whites and gold wings? A girl could get used to this,'_ she thought with a smile no one could see.

Noticing that neither Harm nor Webb had taken their eyes off of Sarah, AJ cleared his throat as a signal for Webb to continue the briefing. Not wanting to be the victim of another bout of blunt force trauma to the center of his face, Webb, almost with a start, completed said briefing with gusto.

After Webb finished, AJ remarked, "This is strictly a voluntary assignment. Neither one of you have to do it if you don't want to."

Sarah played it off casually and said, "Well, I didn't get all dressed up for nothing, sir."

Harm on the other hand almost felt guilty at the suggestion that this was only voluntary. He replied, albeit sheepishly, "Well, I've already shaved twice today, sir, so, um..."

Chuckling softly, Sarah gave Harm a half eye roll; which went unseen by her CO and Webb.

Twenty minutes later found Harm and Sarah in the back of the limousine supplied by the SECNAV. The privacy window was up, which gave the couple the opportunity to sit a little closer than they would have if they had to take one of the JAG pool vehicles.

Harm couldn't take his eyes off her. _'Man, she's gorgeous. I can't wait to take her out like this for a real date. Hell, maybe after this they'll let her keep the dress,'_ he thought. Then he subconsciously shook himself, _'Damn it Rabb! Pull your head out of your six and get your game face on! You're on a mission!'_

Almost as if she could hear his thoughts, Sarah turns to him and says, "Head in the clouds, Harm?"

"Hmm," he answered absent – mindedly. "Oh, I'm sorry, Sarah. I was just thinking."

"Do tell," she responds.

"I was just thinking that you look amazingly beautiful. I had to give myself an internal kick in the six so that I could focus on tonight's mission," Harm said with a lopsided grin. There was a slightly sheepish tone to his voice when he spoke.

Sarah was taken aback a bit at the comment and the sincerity that came with it. She had never been told that she was beautiful...like that...by anyone.

Although grateful for the compliment, she couldn't help but feel a marginal amount of angst. Yes, she loved...was in love with...the tall former aviator turned lawyer seated next to her. However, there were still pieces of her past that crept in and made her feel a bit uncomfortable whenever she was given any sort of praise. In the past, something like this usually precipitated the man wanting to explore other physical pursuits. Farrow, Dalton, and Chris were only interested in her physical traits, or what they could get from her.

While she was still living with her father, he berated her, both privately and publicly. He would call her his "tramp daughter" and other non – complimentary things. This, on top of Joe Mackenzie's drinking, had contributed to her own bout with alcoholism. Alcoholism aside, she had sought out the love that she could not / would not receive at home. Chris had been her outlet on this front. He gave her what she _thought_ she needed...what she wanted and was desperate for.

Harm? He was...is the exception to the rule. He had never looked at her as a trophy to be won or saw her as another notch on his bedpost. With him, Sarah knew she could be herself and not have to worry about being judged about her past. In fact, he never brought it up in conversation. She also knew that she felt safe when she was with him; which was also different than any man she had dated or _been_ with.

With her own _'kick in the six'_; she invisibly shook herself from her ruminations. Sarah gave Harm a smile in return and, with tears stinging her eyes, was barely able to choke out, "Thank you, Harm."

Harm was wondering what he could have done...or said...to receive that kind of tearful response. His confusion was increased when Sarah leaned over and gave him a chaste kiss on his cheek.

Sarah could feel his nervousness and decided to ease his burden by saying, "They're happy tears, Flyboy. You're the first man, besides Uncle Matt, to actually make me feel like a lady. I don't know if I can ever truly thank you for that, Harm." She emphasized her last statement with another soft peck to his cheek. Then she wiped away the smudges with the pad of her thumb.

Harm smiled tenderly at her and responded, "I think you just did, Sarah. You'll never have to thank me for that, however appreciated it is. I don't say or do things without meaning them. You know that. I just want to make sure that I don't do or say anything to hurt you. I couldn't forgive myself if I did. I love you too much to do that."

Immediately after Harm said this, the limo pulled up in front of the Sudanese Embassy. As they exited the vehicle, both Harm and Sarah had their game faces on.

Duty called and they were going to answer as only they could: with determination and a sense of honor...willing to do what was necessary to get the job done.

Little did they know that the evening was not going to happen the way they hoped it would. As with many of their previous investigations, someone was going to get in trouble and the other would have to improvise to save the day.

XXXXX – XXXXX – XXXXX – XXXXX – XXXXX

Next chapter: Embassy showdown.


	6. Harm's Story

Ugh! Finally got this done. Sorry this took so long, everyone. RL and writer's block can be a real pain in the rear sometimes. Thank you all for sticking with me while I felt my way through this one. It's a bit longer than the other chapters. Hopefully that makes up for the lack of posts.

MickeyFan1989 – I am so glad that you are enjoying this. Thanks for reading and reviewing. :-)

Steamboat – It's always a pleasure hearing from you. Yeah, it's nice to see the Cards with the best record in the MLB. However, I'm a little miffed about these allegations concerning the Houston Astros being hacked, possibly by someone in St. Louis' front office. I hope that these insinuations are found not to be true. Our credibility will go the way of the dodo if this is true. Hopefully your Mariners will right the ship. Then you and I can have our SEA / STL World Series with my Cards coming out on top. :-)

Ros – I hope you're still looking forward to the next chapter. Here it is. :-)

Bythepalmtrees – It makes me feel good as a writer when I hear feedback like that. Thank you so much.

Rebecca – I'm just glad that you're reading. Although I do enjoy hearing from my readers, I'm equally pleased that you are enjoying the journey. Thank you so much.

I would like to thank jpstar57 for the help with this chapter. I was having such a hard time and you helped me get my head screwed on tight. I would like to return the favor sometime. Thank you again.

Again, thank you to all who have read this saga. I hope to not be so long in getting the next chapter out. Keep reading and reviewing, please. :-)

That's enough from me...ON WITH THE SHOW!

"_...I love you too much to do that."_

_Immediately after Harm said this, the limo pulled up in front of the Sudanese Embassy. As they exited the vehicle, both Harm and Sarah had their game faces on. _

_Duty called and they were going to answer as only they could: with determination and a sense of honor...willing to do what was necessary to get the job done._

_Little did they know that the evening was not going to happen the way they hoped it would. As with many of their previous investigations, someone was going to get in trouble and the other would have to improvise to save the day._

0430 Zulu / 2330 EDT  
30 / 29 September, 1998  
Sudanese Embassy  
Washington, DC

After Ambassador Moshak's attempt to further incite civil war and to discredit Professor Dubatu, the victorious Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr. escorts his date, Major Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie down the stairs that lead to the front door of the Sudanese Embassy.

Sarah, no worse for the wear after being pistol whipped by Moshak, loses her balance momentarily on the steps and grasps for the railing with her left hand just as a strong left arm wraps itself around her waist to keep her from falling.

Continuing their way down the half flight, Harm asks, "Are you gonna make it?"

Sarah hears the compassion and concern in her boyfriend's voice and answers, "Yeah," before giving Harm a chaste kiss on his cheek.

Harm chuckles slightly, then says, "You know, we should go out more often."

Sarah gives a wry chuckle herself before musing, "Sure. I had a wonderful time tonight. What did you have in mind?"

Harm just grins and asks, "Oh, you in a dress similar to the one you're wearing, a nice dinner in a place where you can enjoy some of your favored dead cow, dancing, and then I take you home and walk you to your door. There may be a good night kiss at the end, but that's all up to you.

"However, in the meantime, I need to get you home. We have work tomorrow and I have another session with Dr. Parker. I'm fine with the first part. The second part...pbpbpbpbpbpbp," Harm finishes with a raspberry.

A giggle escapes Sarah's lips before she has a chance to stop it. Being a Marine, she was not prone to fits of the giggles. She covers her mouth in embarrassment and responds, "Sorry. Poor Harm has to share his feelings. God forbid you would actually have to tell them to someone. However, Flyboy, I had better be the next person you tell them to after your sessions." She emphasizes this last point by sticking her nicely manicured fingernail into Harm's chest, making him wince.

Feigning exasperation, Harm muses, "Ugh, then I guess I'm just gonna have to tell you now."

Once they were safely inside the limo Harm began, "When Dad went down..." His eyes misted as he spoke, "I didn't really have any idea what was going on. I knew he was missing and that Mom was doing everything she could to keep herself together for me. Late at night, when she thought I was asleep, I'd hear her crying softly. Being six at the time, I didn't like it when she was sad.

"I was hurting because: 1) Dad was missing; 2) Mom was crying; and 3) I didn't know what to do. When you're that young and one half of your parents is gone and the other half is a basket case, you just can't get a handle on what to do. Well, that was me. I started acting up and getting into trouble at school, fighting and such.

"Mom did what she could. She was great. She brought me up the only way she knew how. It wasn't until she met Frank, six years after Dad went down, that she started to put the pieces of her life back together.

"We were living in Bremerton, Washington at the time. Since Dad was listed as MIA, the Navy was still allowing us to live there on their dime. Our 1968 International Scout was on its last leg and Mom and I were at the Chrysler dealership looking for something more reliable. Frank was the sales manager for the dealership. When they met, they hit it off. After the meeting, Mom had a new '74 Chrysler New Yorker and Frank had a date for the next night. Me? I began a pretty intense bout of rebellion."

While Harm was speaking, Sarah never took her eyes off him. She couldn't help but feel sorry for the man sitting next to her. She saw and felt the pain he felt. Unconsciously, she drew herself nearer to him, desperately wanting to take his pain away. She stayed silent, wanting him to continue; which he did.

"I've always loved my mother; don't get me wrong. I was just so pissed that she had the gall to just up and move on as if Dad had actually died and we buried him with full honors. I...I..." Harm slams his fist into his open palm. "...I hated Frank. I hated that he hit on Mom. I hated that he was there the day Mom bought the car. I hated everything about the man.

"About a year after Mom and Frank met, she had Dad legally declared dead. Soon after that, Frank proposed and Mom said 'Yes'. Six months later, they were married. We moved to La Jolla immediately after.

"That was just about it for me. Mom moving on and marrying Frank; Frank's trying, at least in _my_ eyes, to take Dad's place; that's when the crap _really_ hit the fan. I pouted, sulked, I screamed, I broke things, screamed and yelled some more. I even went as far as accusing Mom of never loving my father; for throwing him away as if he were garbage. Heh," he chuckled ruefully, "she knocked me square on my six for that one.

"By this time I had almost turned fourteen. This was when I really started looking for Dad. It was 1976 and Saigon had already fallen about two years prior. I looked for every newspaper article I could find on POW's and MIA's. I went as far as going up to servicemen and asking what they knew; if there was anything they could tell me. This was when I first heard about a Colonel Frank Striker.

"From that point on, I saved every last penny I got from Grams or for my allowance. For two years I saved. I was going to go to Vietnam, hook up with COL Striker, find my dad, and bring him home no matter what it took.

"So, the summer after my freshman year, I grabbed my savings, including some I pilfered from Frank and my duffle bag and set off for 'The Great Unknown'.

"Getting to 'Nam was easy. Finding Striker was a little harder. Once I did, we made our way to Laos. In one of the smaller villages is where I met a girl the same age as me named Gym.

"The three of us, along with Gym's mother, were searching along the Vietnam border when Laotian troops in a chopper were on a patrol. I was scouting up front with Striker when we heard shots ring out. I saw Gym for a split second before she and her mother were hit by the machine gun the soldiers were using. I tried going back for her, but Striker grabbed me and pulled me into some cover so that we couldn't be seen." Once again Harm's eyes were misting over, on the verge of shedding tears.

Sarah instinctively rested her hand on his thigh, continuing to give him strength and urging him to go on.

"Once the coast was clear, we went back but their bodies were gone; taken by the soldiers.

"A couple days later, I was on a plane heading back to San Diego. I had called Mom before I left for the final leg from Honolulu. She and Frank picked me up from the airport and didn't say a word until we got back home.

"For about two full hours Mom read me the riot acts; asking me every question in the book, crying the entire time. I told her how sorry I was and how I would never, ever do that again.

"Needless to say, I was grounded for the rest of the summer and my time in high school. I wasn't even allowed to do any sports. She did, however, send me to Grams' farm for the rest of that summer and all the next.

"That first summer was when I first laid my eyes on _Sarah_. She was a mess when I found her. Grams told me that Dad was going to start fixing her up when he got back from his second tour in 'Nam. You know what happened to keep that from coming to fruition.

"At the beginning of my senior year, I had to beg and plead Mom to sign my application to Annapolis. Her only response was to say no and walk out of whatever room we were in. To my surprise, it was Frank who reasoned with her saying that I would have enlisted the day after I graduated if she didn't and never come back.

"I never thought I'd be saying this, but...I owe my naval career to Frank."

By this time, the limo had arrived back at Sarah's Georgetown apartment. Since it was just after midnight and they were exhausted from the ordeal they had gone through, Harm decided that this would be a good place to stop his oration. He asked the driver to wait for him as he walked Sarah to her door.

When they arrived there, Harm spoke up again. "There's so much more I want...no, need to tell you. God, I never thought I would be able to tell _anyone_ nearly a tenth of what I've just told you," he said with an exhausted sigh.

Sarah couldn't help the tears that were stinging her eyes at his confession. With her watery eyes, she looked up at him and asked, "Why?"

Harm didn't say anything. He just looked into her chocolate brown orbs, trying to say without words everything that he felt for her...especially his love for her.

Before she had a chance to repeat her question, Harm bent down and encapsulated her lips with his, giving further explanation as to her query. The caress started out gently, yet full of passion. Soon, it became a fire that no amount of water could squelch.

After about thirty...thirty...one, oh forget it. Sarah's clock had fried after about fifteen seconds. For her, the world stood still and she understood everything that he didn't say with words. She understood _every single_ word he _hadn't _said.

When they broke the kiss Sarah said in a whisper, "I know. I love you, too. Now, get out of here before I drag you to my bed and make you break our promise, Flyboy."

Harm stepped back, flashed a full blown 1,000 watt Flyboy Grin, and said, "Aye, aye, Ma'am."

2000 Zulu / 1500 EDT  
30 September, 1998  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

The day had gone like most, in that there were old case files to close out and new ones to research and prepare for investigations. Both Harm and Sarah's respective loads weren't added to very much since their fouled / successful mission the night before.

It was just about time for Harm to secure for his second session with Dr. Parker. Last night's declarations to his girlfriend had him so emotionally and mentally exhausted that his head had barely hit his pillow before he found himself in a restful sleep. He was not looking forward to a repeat performance, despite the fact that letting all that out was oddly helpful.

Talking to the woman you love is one thing. However, telling all...well not _all_...his dark secrets to a person who has the ability to have him removed from duty...or worse, committed...was not something Harm relished. Remembering something his dad had said in one his letter tapes home brought a smile to Harm's face.

_Hey, here's the knee-knockers Harm kept tripping over on visitors' day. I'll never forget the way he'd get up after each fall and try again. I like that. It shows fortitude, which will take him a long way in life._

'Fortitude', it's what has carried him through everything Harm has ever dealt with. From his time in 'Nam; through the hard times he faced at Annapolis; through his ramp strike and recovery; and through every harrowing adventure he's had a Judge Advocate. It would now get him through finally dealing with his past and the emotions associated with it.

Over in her office, Sarah was dealing with one of her own devils. She had just ended a phone conversation with the attorney in the LSO who was helping her with the proceedings of her divorce from Chris Raggle. Apparently, there had been no sign of her estranged husband since his release from jail years earlier. The attorney was working with a couple different investigators to locate him. No such luck.

'_Ugh, how the hell can we move forward if I can't get my six divorced from that part of my life? DAMN IT!'_ Sarah thought to herself. She was about to continue her ruminations when there came a knock on her door.

"Enter," she exclaimed. She then smiled when her guest opened the door. "Hey," she said.

Harm gave her a smile and voiced, "Hey, yourself. I was just checking in before I left for Bethesda." He stopped as he noticed the tell-tale, at least to him, signs of frustration creeping up on Sarah's face. Shutting the door and taking a seat in front of her desk he asked, "What's going on, Sarah?"

With an exasperated sigh Sarah began, "Oh, it's the divorce. Legal Services is having a hard time finding Chris. He's gone off grid since he was released. They've got a couple investigators out trying to track him down but it's like trying to catch smoke with a mesh net. We can't start the thirty day timer until he's at least been served. He can't be served if they don't find him. Grrrraaaahh!"

Sarah's subdued scream wasn't quite subdued enough to not attract the attention of a few of the denizens in the bullpen, least of all for the tall former SeAL come current Judge Advocate General of the Navy and Marine Corps and two star admiral, who, to Sarah's dismay, had heard the small outburst.

As he was their CO, he could skirt protocol and with his usual parlance opened Sarah's office door and barked, "What the _hell_ is going on in here, Major?!" Then, recognizing who was also in the room, leveled his glare to the six foot four inch former naval aviator and growled, "Commander, did _you_ have anything to do this?!"

As AJ was ripping them a pair of new sixes, Sarah and Harm jumped up to their feet and snapped to attention. Once AJ had finish they answered as one, "Sir, no, Sir!"

AJ continued to bore holes through his two most senior attorneys. "Well, I'm waiting, Major!"

In an attempt to gather her thoughts, Sarah cleared her throat. She decided that the truth was the best course of action and answered, "Sir, the Commander had nothing to do with my outburst, for which I am extremely sorry. I am working with the LSO office so..." She paused to take a breath before trudging on. "...so that I can divorce my husband, Sir."

To say that this bit of information was surprising to the Rear Admiral would have been the understatement of the last _two_ centuries. AJ took several seconds to process this. When he finally spoke, it was in a non – aggressive yet firm tone, "At ease. Care to explain, Major?"

Sarah then went on to explain what had happened when she was eighteen and drunk, how she and Chris had run away to a Las Vegas chapel.

When she finished her oratory, it was 1534. AJ looked at his watch and mused, "Commander, I believe you have somewhere to be."

'_Ah, geez. I completely lost track of time. Now I've got to call Dr. Parker to let her know I'm running late. Damn it! I _hate_ running late!'_ Harm thought as he stood up. "By your leave, Admiral," he requested.

Understanding his most tenured HQ attorney's affinity for _non_ – punctuality, AJ nodded his head and answered, "Carry on, Commander." Once Harm had left Sarah's office, AJ addressed Sarah, "Major...Mac, if there is anything I can do to help, I trust that you will let me know?"

Sarah shifted uncomfortably in her chair. She didn't _want_ to have to come to him for this. Going to Harm for something like this was one thing since they were in a relationship. Going to her CO for this was something else entirely. Clearing her throat again, she decided to try and keep this professional between them and responded, "Sir, I appreciate the offer. However, Sir, I'd like to keep this between Harm...uh...the Commander and myself; my recent outburst notwithstanding. If we do feel we need to come to you for help, we most definitely will, Sir."

This response seemed to have had the desired effect of appeasing the former SeAL's wrath as his scowl all but disappeared from his face. Able to accept Sarah's story and her promise to come to him should they need help, AJ nodded and offered, "Alright, Major, apology accepted."

Sarah practically jumped out of her seat and snapped to as AJ got up from the chair he was sitting in. She had been expecting a rather different response to her outburst. Truth be known, she had expected to have a certain orifice added to the one she already had.

As he turned on his heel to exit, AJ called back to the Marine Major, "As you were." He made his way back into his office and closed the hatch behind him. Once he was settle back in his office chair, he let out the chuckle he had been holding in since he exited Sarah's office. _'Huh, who knew how much those two getting together would make my life so interesting.'_

2100 Zulu / 1600 EDT  
30 September, 1998  
Dr. LCDR Jordan Parker's office  
Bethesda, Maryland

Harm had just been led to Jordan's office by the Corpsman who had signed him in. He had only been sitting for a couple minutes when Jordan entered. Ever the officer and gentleman, Harm stood up when he heard her come into the office.

Jordan gave Harm what he would call a 'winning smile' and offered, "Welcome back, Commander. I trust the last forty – eight hours haven't been too harsh on you?" Then, to herself, she thought, _'Hmmm, if only we had met under different circumstances...and he wasn't seeing someone...oh stop it, Jordan, he's your client. Now's not the time to be going all "Nightingale" on him.'_ Sighing inwardly, she snapped herself out of her reverie and back to the situation at hand. "So...tell me, Harm, were you able to finish the homework I assigned to you?"

Harm stammered, "I...uh...um...yeah, I did. Sorry, Doc. I've got a lot on my mind right now. Let's just say that the last forty – eight hours have been wrought with a lot of action. Uh..." He paused trying to figure out the best way to tackle the situation that he and Sarah had gone through last night and the following discussion they had afterwards. As it was, there was no better way than to keep his head up, lower his shoulder, and run straight into it. "Sarah and I were at the Sudanese Embassy last night." There, he said it.

Jordan looked at Harm like the proverbial deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming Mack truck and her mouth was opening and closing rhythmically. Now she was at a loss for words. "Uh...uh...wow! Um...tell you what, let's table the homework for today and get to that during Monday's session. Today and Friday we can deal with what happened last night. First off, tell me how you are doing with that right now. I realize that the symptoms of PTSD may not arise immediately, but I just want to make sure how you are doing."

Sighing audibly, Harm began to tell the good doctor almost everything that happened at the Embassy the night prior. Obviously, he had to leave out the whole Ebola virus thing. He also had to be careful not to divulge too much about Moshak had planned to do. That may eventually come out in the media, but she, most definitely was _not_ going to hear any of it from Harm.

As she was listening, Jordan couldn't help but think that there was more to being a JAG lawyer than met the eye. "Hmmm, are all of your...uh...assignments that interesting," she asked.

Harm gave a rueful chuckle, which drew a raise eyebrow from the head shrinker. Harm recovered by clearing his throat and explaining, "Um...I'm sorry, Doc. I wasn't laughing at the question. I was just recalling the more 'interesting' cases I've investigated. I've been shot at more times than I care to reveal here; landed a Tomcat from the rear seat after the pilot was shot during a photo recon mission; negotiated with a terrorist holding a cruise ship hostage from a sub; played the game 'Go' with a Colombian drug lord, just to name a few. Fortunately, the not so interesting cases _far_ outweigh the interesting ones."

Once again, Jordan was at a loss for words. How could one person go through all that and it not have some form of negative impact on the individual, psychological or otherwise? Finally having recovered from hearing all this, Jordan asked, "Did you do all of that by yourself? I would think that anyone who has gone through so much by themselves would suffer from some form of psychosis or other severe mental and / or emotional disability. Did you experience all that by yourself?"

Harm motioned his head in the negative and responded, "No, thank God. Whenever any of us is assigned to a major investigation, our CO almost always partners us up with another lawyer from Falls Church or we work closely together with one of the Staff Judge Advocates onboard ship. I've had three partners since I've been with JAG. My first one, I was only with her for a couple cases before she was reassigned and shipped out. My second partner, I was with her for almost a year before she too, was reassigned. My current partner is the one I've gone through most of that with. She is also the girlfriend I told you about on Monday."

Jordan nodded her head in understanding. _'And there it is. That's why he hasn't gone postal. Let's see if we can't get a little deeper into this,'_ Jordan postulated to herself. "So, Harm, tell me...what happened before you and...Sarah, was it?" She continued when Harm nodded, "became involved?"

Harm sighed audibly at the question. _'Here we go. Once more unto to breech dear friends.'_ "Well," he began, "I told you about my search for my father. I had received credible information that said that he had been sent to the Russians by the Viet Cong shortly after the war ended. Dad flew an F-4 Phantom during the war, mostly running on the _Iron Hand_ missions to destroy anti – aircraft artillery and surface to air missile sites. It was on one of these missions that he was shot down." Harm paused a moment when he said this, mostly to collect his thoughts and reign in his emotions. "While he was being held as a POW, he was interrogated several times by a KGB agent to find out why _Iron Hand_ was so successful. I received a photograph from an anonymous source. In the photo was a small group of Soviet soldiers and two men in civilian clothes, both wearing fedoras. One of the men was the KGB interrogator and the other...was my father." Harm cleared his throat before continuing, "On the back of the photo was a date, 1980. He was being transferred to a gulag in the Siberian tundra.

"I went to my CO with this information and he authorized some leave time so that I could go and find my father. A couple minutes after I boarded the plane to Moscow, my partner showed up just as the stewardess was closing the hatch. I didn't notice her until I heard a woman speaking Russian, standing next to me. When I asked her what she was doing, she said that the Admiral sent her so that someone could 'watch my six'.

"A lot of what happened in Russia I can't tell what happened due to National Security concerns. We finally made it to the farm where my father had lived and met the woman who nursed him back to health. She told us..." He paused. This next part was going to hurt. "...she told us how he...died. Russian soldiers had come upon her when she was taking a bath in the river near the house. Dad and the woman's brother came running to her rescue. Dad killed three of the soldiers before the last one...killed him. The woman's brother got the one that killed dad. He buried Dad somewhere in the Taiga but wouldn't tell her where, for fear that someone would see and kill them all."

'_Wow, have I got my work cut out for me. There is way too many things going on with this man. Jordan, what have you gotten yourself into?'_ Jordan shook her head internally, not wanting Harm to see what was going on in it. "I'm sorry, Harm. We're going to have to stop there for today. I'm going to note where we left off and we will continue there on Friday. There isn't going to be any homework tonight since we still have to go over what you did from Monday. Like I said, we'll deal with that next week. Until then, Commander, I hope that everything goes well for you. I will see you on Friday."

With a nod of understanding, Harm stood to his full 6' – 4" height and said, "Thank you, Commander. I'll see you then."

2300 Zulu / 1800 EDT  
30 September, 1998  
Harmon Rabb's Loft Apartment  
North of Union Station

As agreed upon at lunch, Harm was home making dinner, waiting for Sarah to arrive. They were going to talk about everything that happened after Harm left for his appointment. Harm was also going to finish his story that he began telling her the night before after the fiasco at the Sudanese Embassy.

While Harm was putting the finishing touches on his baked ziti al forno (half veggie, of course), there was a knock at the door. Harm wiped his hands on the kitchen towel he had hanging on his right shoulder as he made his way to answer the knock. Standing on the other side, Harm found Sarah Mackenzie, as promised. She was wearing a pair of jeans, Harm would swear hugged every curve the way no other piece of manufactured denim could, and a dark green button up blouse that accent the upper half of her body perfectly.

Sarah smiled up at the tall aviator turned lawyer. When he smiled back at her, she inched her way towards him and used her arms to pull him down to her for a kiss. This one didn't quite take on a life of its own, but it did succeed in knocking the wind out of the couple. Only the need for air compelled them to stop the embrace and separate. "Wow, if that's the kind of welcome I can look forward to every time I come over, I may just have to come over more often," she said with velvety silk in her voice. Then she added, "Hey there, Flyboy."

Harm flashed her a full blown 1,000 watt Flyboy Grin that just about churned her insides and turned her knees to jelly and responded, "Hey yourself, Ninja Girl. You most definitely can expect that kind of welcome_ every_ time you come over here. I was just about to put dinner in the oven."

"Whatever it is, it smells great. My compliments to the chef," Sarah quipped, giving Harm a kiss on the cheek.

Harm was about to give her another kiss when their moment was interrupted by someone clearing their throat at his door.

Harm's head snapped over in the direction of the tell – tale sign of someone walking in on something that they shouldn't. His eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when he saw who was at the door.

"Muh...Mom?! Frank? Whu...what are you guys doing here?"


	7. Sarah's Story

Yay! I finally finished this chapter! Whew! (I wipe my forehead.) :-)

Sorry this took so long. I wanted to get some more angst in here and I didn't quite know how to do that. Hope you all like what I came up with.

PBLLady – Thank you so much for reading. The story is nowhere near finished. Just stick with it and I hope that you aren't disappointed.

Jag389 – Here you go. Thank you.

MickieFan1989 – Thanks and I love your handle. My wife's a huge fan of Walt Disney's creation. :-)

Midwintersilver – Thank you so much. It's coming. I promise. ;-)

BrittanyLS – Me neither. LOL.

And now... ON WITH THE SHOW! :-)

_Harm was about to give her another kiss when their moment was interrupted by someone clearing their throat at his door._

_Harm's head snapped over in the direction of the tell – tale sign of someone walking in on something that they shouldn't. His eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when he saw who was at the door._

"_Muh...Mom?! Frank? Whu...what are you guys doing here?"_

2310 Zulu / 1810 EDT

30 September, 1998

Harmon Rabb's Loft Apartment

North of Union Station

Harm's mother, Patricia 'Trish' Burnett, and his step – father, Frank Burnett, looked at each other slightly chagrinned at their perceived _faux pas_. Trish looked at her son and then at the slender, pretty, brunette next to him. She looked familiar to the older woman. Gasping internally, she thought, _'Oh my God! That's Diane! No, wait. This has to be Mac. Harmon said that Diane died in '96. That's right; he told me that Mac looks just like her, but their personalities are completely different. It looks like we came at the wrong time. I wonder if there's something going on between these two. Finally! Maybe now I'll get some grand babies.'_ "I'm sorry, Darling, for us just showing up like this, out of the blue. We didn't think you would have company," she said.

Harm nodded his head in understanding before he stepped to the side to allow the older couple into his home. After a couple minutes he responded, "No, Mom...Frank, that's fine. You know you're always welcome to drop by, unannounced or otherwise. I'm just surprised that you're both here right now. I thought that after our conversation that I would be on your hit list for the way that I told you about Dad. I really am sorry about that. I should have come out to La Jolla and told you in person. I never should have told something like _that_ over the phone." With that, Harm finally welcomed his mother with a kiss to her cheek and Frank with a firm handshake.

Sarah, for her part, just stood back and monitored the conversation from the side. She had wanted to meet Harm's parents...BUT NOT RIGHT NOW! _'Oh great. We get to do this now? It's still too early. Wait a minute...it's been a little over two years. Ugh, why am I so confused all of a sudden? Come on Mackenzie. You're a MARINE, for crying out loud. You can handle a "meet the parents" session. It's not like we're going to Colombia or something like one of our assignments,'_ she thought as she watched the scene before her.

Trish, after she had kissed Harm on his cheek, looked at Sarah and asked in a way only a mother could, "_Harmon David Rabb_, where are your manners?! You haven't introduced us to the beautiful lady standing over there. I'm sorry, Dear, for my son's behavior. My name's Patricia Burnett. Obviously, I'm Harm's mother. This gentleman standing next to me is Frank Burnett, my husband and Harmon's step – father."

Harm gave himself an internal forehead smack. He couldn't believe he committed such an obvious mistake and stammered again, "Oh, cra...shoot. I'm sorry everyone. Mom, Frank, this is Major Sarah 'Mac' Mackenzie..." Harm paused for a second or two before continuing, "...my...girlfriend."

Sarah turned a slight shade of pink when she heard herself referred to as a '_beautiful lady_'. If her olive skin tone would have allowed for it, she would have turned even more pink, probably closer to a full on red when Harm announced their relationship. Having gotten over the initial shock of the intrusion and Harm's foot – in – mouth disease, Sarah held out her hand and said shyly and reservedly, "Pleased to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Burnett."

Trish noticed the trepidation in the woman standing before her. She gave Sarah a sympathetic smile and responded, "It's an extreme pleasure to finally meet you. Harmon has told us so much about you. Please, Dear, call us 'Trish' and 'Frank'. 'Mr. and Mrs. Burnett' makes us sound and feel ancient."

Nodding her acceptance, Sarah answered, "Ok then, Trish and Frank. Please, call me 'Mac'." Her smile was more genuine and assured. She then turned to Harm and quirking an eyebrow continued, "Harm's told you about me? Just what has he told you?"

Harm just looked at Sarah with a deer in the headlights expression on his face. _'Ugh, Mom! Did you HAVE to bring up the fact that I've talked about her,'_ Harm thought. He was really going to pay for that. Seeing the look on Sarah's face; he knew this way deep down in his soul. Getting these two women were going to make his life a nightmare of Armageddon – like proportions.

Trish was enjoying her son's discomfiture. She was going to enjoy this next part of the conversation. "Oh, nothing bad, Mac. He's told us some of your adventures together. He even told me a couple of months ago that he thought he was in love with you." This last part was punctuated with a Cheshire cat grin that reached her earlobes.

"_MOM!_" was Harm's indignant rebuttal. "Ugh, did you _have_ to tell her that?" To say that Harm had rolled his eyes would have been the understatement of the century. If he could have, he would have just crawled to a small remote corner of the world, curled up, and died.

The answer to Harm's question came in the form of raucous laughter from everyone else in the loft. All Harm could do was stand there dumbfounded and somewhat irritated.

Once the hilarity subsided, Trish dabbed her eyes with a tissue she pulled from her purse. Handing another one to Sarah, she finally answered audibly, "Well, Darling, you should have told me that you didn't want me to tell her. Since she _is_ your girlfriend, as you said, I figured that you would have told her yourself."

As she stepped up to stand next to him, Sarah stood up for Harm. "He did, Trish. We both did actually. I'm in love with your son, Trish," she declared with conviction. "We've been together for a week now."

After hearing the declaration, Trish practically launched herself at the younger woman standing next to her son and engulfed her in a bone – crushing hug, startling Sarah in the process. Happy tears were streaming down Trish's face as she whispered into Sarah's ear, "Thank you. I know this is new for you, but welcome to the family."

Sarah was stunned into silence at the totally unexpected embrace and words spoken by the older woman. She tentatively, at first and then with increasing strength, pulled her arms around her beloved's mother. She was beginning to shed her own tears at Trish's acceptance and affection. "[sniffs] Thank you, Trish. Yes, it is early, but I see us going all the way. Call it a Marine's gut feeling," she said before hearing the chuckles, not only from Trish but also from Harm and Frank.

Harm cleared his throat and politely asked, "So, Mom...Frank, not that I'm not glad to see you guys, but what are you doing here in D.C.?"

Frank took up the baton and said, "Well, Son, after your mom hung up with you last week, we had a nice long talk about everything you found about your dad. Then we talked about our life together. When your mother and I got married, you were still so angry with us over your father that we knew that you would object to our marriage. I had hoped that you and I would be able to have some sort of relationship, whether as friends or as me being a father figure for you. Now, I hope that I can just be there when you need me. With that being said, your mother and I have decided to renew our vows. We came here so that I could ask you, in person, for your blessing."

In his head, Harm had all the old feelings of betrayal he felt as a pre – teen when his mother had Harm Sr. declared deceased and then when she married the 'used car salesman', as CAG Tom Boone had once called Harm's step – father. Harm then felt all the guilt for everything he had done to or called the man standing in front of him. These conflicting emotions were at war within him; battling for supremacy. When the smell of the food in the oven reached his senses, he decided that he needed a couple minutes to collect his thoughts and offered, "Well, why don't you all go have a seat in the living room while I finish off dinner. There's enough for everybody. I need a minute to process this."

"Do you need any help, Harm," Sarah asked. She had an idea as to what he would be considering because she could read him like a book and was able to anticipate his movements. It's part of what made them such an effective team.

Harm shook his head slightly and answered, "No, Sarah. I've got this. You go and talk to Mom and Frank. I'll only be a minute." Then he softened the denial of help with a soft peck of his lips to hers.

Sarah nodded in understanding and went to the living room to join Harm's parents, who were already settled in on the couch.

While he made the finishing touches to dinner, Harm was deep in thought. _'Wow! This night is just full of surprises. First they just show up out of nowhere and now they want to renew their vows. Damn it. Why did Frank have to be such a nice guy? It's so freaking hard to hate a nice guy. _

'_Come on, Hammer. You're not being fair to the man. He endured years of your abuse. He only wanted to love your mom and have a family. He did everything a real dad would have. He went to all your sporting events; tried helping you with your homework (when you would let him); offered fatherly advice (when you would ask him); and he helped you get into the Academy by convincing your mother to sign the application. _

'_Yeah, you're right. If I let myself actually consider all the evidence, Frank's been the father I needed. He wasn't the one I wanted, but he's the one who's actually been there for me. Dad wouldn't want me to hate the man simply for loving Mom and trying to help take care of me; which he did a good job. I have to admit it: Frank is my father. I'll only be doing them and Dad a disservice if I don't give my blessing to their renewal. Damn it, Marine! Why did you have to be such a calming influence in my life? I love you even more for it!'_

It had only been six minutes and twenty – seven seconds, by Sarah's count, when Harm called out, "Come and get it!" He had already had the table settings out for the two of them before the late arrival of Harm's parents.

While Trish and Frank made their way to the dining room table, a la Harm's kitchen island, Sarah fished out two more table settings for their guests. As this was being accomplished, Harm was pulling out four bottles of water from the fridge. These he placed behind each setting towards the center of the island. He then pulled the garlic bread and baked ziti al forno and set them on the trivets that were strategically placed so that they were within reach of all four adults. Harm then returned to the fridge and pulled out the Greek salad that he had prepared when he first got home from work.

When everything was set to his standards, Harm finally gave his verdict. "Mom...Frank...Although I had different plans for this evening with Sarah, I'm glad that you're both here, unexpected as it is. Frank, I know I never gave you a fair shake when you and Mom first started dating and that continued throughout my growing up. With everything that has gone on with finding out what happened to my father, I've had to re – evaluate where our...relationship...is going. I've realized that Mom has been extremely happy since you came into the picture..."

While Harm was speaking, Trish's eyes began to prickle with unshed tears. She was so happy that her son had finally accepted Frank as a part of the family. Frank had, most definitely, made her happy. True, their marriage had seen some pretty dark days; all marriages have. Yet, they always stuck together. One just simply does not end their marriage just because there are one or two bumps in the road. If Harm's relationship with Mac was heading where Trish thought it would (she prayed this was the case), with what she knew of her son and from he had told her about this woman sitting next to him, she believed that they would stand the tests of time, trials, and tribulations. Maybe she would even get a few grandkids out of this (wink, wink).

Harm continued, completely oblivious to his mother's machinations, "I also have come to the realization that even though my dad's been gone for close to thirty years, I was only without a father for six. You were always there for me, especially when I didn't want you there. For these two things, I can never thank you enough. With that being said...I offer you my blessing."

Trish and Frank looked askance at each other for a moment before allowing their guards down. Slowly, but surely, smiles crept up on their faces. After about a minute, having dispensed with her happy tears, Trish stood up, walked around the 'table', and enveloped her son in her arms, giving him a near bone – crushing hug; one which Harm returned almost as enthusiastically. Frank stood as well, making his way over to his step – son and gave him a firm, appreciative, hand shake as he said, "Thank you, Son. You have no idea what this means to me...to us."

As she was watching and listening to this entire scene taking place, Sarah couldn't help the tears that were streaming, steadily, down her face. She had neither seen nor felt the level of love being exhibited before her. Her father had been a drunk all through the time she had spent with him. Her mother abandoned her on her fifteenth birthday. Her mother may have loved her at one point, but being abandoned on her birthday, of all days, by the one person who was supposed to love her _unconditionally_ was the ultimate act of betrayal. Not only had her mother left her, she left Sarah with _him_! How could she have been so selfish as to do that: Leave Sarah with Joe Mackenzie...alone?

So overcome with anger, loss, anxiety, hurt, and a myriad of other emotions, Sarah let herself down of the stool she had been sitting on and, grabbing her purse in the process, ran out of the loft, sobbing softly. She made her way into the hall and was racing down the steps before anyone else knew what had happened.

Harm was stunned momentarily before he left Trish and Frank and ran after her. He bounded down the stairs two at a time in an effort to catch Sarah before she made it to her car to drive off.

His efforts, however, were in vain as he could only stare at the taillights of Sarah's Jeep as it made its way out of the alley and onto road. What Harm couldn't see was Sarah's tear – streaked face as she continued to cry out her angst.

0015 Zulu / 1915 EDT

1 October / 30 September, 1998

LT Roberts &amp; LT (Jg) Simms Apartment

Georgetown

Bud and Harriet had just finished their dinner and were in the process of cleaning up their dishes when they heard a knock from their door. Since Harriet was the one drying, she informed her husband that she would see who it was.

Not knowing who it could possibly be, Harriet looked through the peep hole. Immediately recognizing her visitor, she pulled the door open. "Major! This is an unex..." was all Harriet could get out before she noticed the look on Sarah's face.

"No, Bud! GET Mac a glass of water," Harriet replied. Sometimes Bud could sound and act like a bumbling idiot. This was just one of the many things about Bud that Harriet had fallen in love with. She just shook her head and sighed, "Just give him a minute and he'll figure it out."

Sarah stifled a giggle at that. She knew all too well about Bud's uncanny predisposition for being a little slow on the uptake.

Bud came into the living room with the requested beverage and gave it to Sarah before asking, "What are you doing here, Ma'am? Is everything alright?"

"I'm okay, Bud," she lied. "Would you mind if I talked to Harriet alone?"

This time Bud was quick to answer, "Not at all, Ma'am. I'll just take a walk around the block." With that, he grabbed his jacket and stepped out the front door.

Now that they were alone, Harriet asked, "Ok, What's going on? Spill."

Sarah gathered up her courage and answered, "I had gone over to Harm's place and we were just about to sit down to dinner when his mom and step - dad unexpectedly showed up. They came by to ask for his blessing to renew their vows. I was so nervous since this was the first time we'd met. Anyway, Harm gave his blessing and they got all lovey dovey. I never grew up with that and it kinda weirded me out. My dad's been a drunk my entire life and my mother disappeared on my fifteenth birthday. I got so overwhelmed with my raging emotions that I ran out of there like a bat out of hell. Some Marine I am, running away like that. Harm's gonna hate me for this."

Harriet offered her friend a soft smile before responding, "Mac, he's not going to hate you. How could he? You're an amazing woman and a kick - ass Marine. Don't do this to yourself. Has he told you how he feels about you?"

Sarah nodded her answer.

"How do you feel about Harm?"

"I love him," she was barely able to choke out before she continued, in a stronger tone, "I'm in love with him."

"Then stop running and talk to him about this. If he loves you as much as I think he does, you don't have to worry about him hating you. 'Cause, it just won't happen." Harriet finished with a squeeze of Sarah's hand.

"I know. You're right, Harriet. I'm just scared. It means that I have to rip open some very old wounds. I'll go back and talk to him," Sarah said as she got up to hug her friend. She finished as she made her way out the door, "Thanks, Harriet. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

With that, Sarah left the apartment and walked back to her Jeep Cherokee and got in behind the wheel. As she sat down she sighed heavily. _'Man, this is NOT going to be easy. I know I have to tell Harm everything. Everything? Yes, Mackenzie, everything. You're not going to keep this from him.'_ Sighing again for what seemed the umpteenth time on the drive back, she pulled into the alleyway that led to Harm's loft.

0130 Zulu / 2030 EDT

1 October / 30 September, 1998

Harm's Loft Apartment

North of Union Station

Harm had sent his parents back to their hotel about thirty minutes after Sarah ran out. Since Sarah left, he had been roaming around his loft trying to figure out where she had gone. That was until Bud had called to let him know that Sarah and Harriet were talking at Bud and Harriet's. Harm breathed a huge sigh of relief at that news. '_Thank God she's alright. I wonder what causes her to leave like that. She's a Marine. She just doesn't up and leave at the drop of a hat like she did. What was going through her mind, I wonder.'_

It wasn't but an hour later when there was a knock on his for. To keep from freaking her out and watch as she runs off again, Harm believed that discretion was the better part of valor and decided that he would play it cool and spoke loud enough for his visitor to hear, "Come on in. It's open!"

Opening the door, Sarah stepped in and saw Harm sitting on his couch. After closing the door, she walked her way over to and sat down on the opposite end of the couch from Harm. Before he got the chance to move, Sarah stopped him saying, "Wait Harm. I need to tell you some things before you say anything and I lose my nerve." She received a nod as his answer before she continued. "I've told you only a little bit about my father. I need to tell you everything about what happened with him and with my mother.

"I know I've never mentioned her before. That's because I have not seen her since she abandoned us the night of my fifteenth birthday."

This surprised Harm to no end. How could any mother worth her salt just up and leave her child? What could have possibly been running through that woman's mind? What could have happened to cause her to run? "I'm so sorry, Baby. What happened?"

Sarah smiled at the term of endearment he uttered. It helped give her the courage to continue her task. "Well, when my dad came back from 'Na..." She stopped herself before she finished her sentence, knowing what Harm went through with his father and how he still felt about it. "...from his second tour, he was greeted at the airport with screaming people spitting in his face, taunting him with 'How many kids did you kill, PIG?!', and even a few rotten vegetables. After what he'd seen over there, I guess he just couldn't handle it and turned to the bottle. That was September of 1974, when I was six. He'd used to just go out drinking two or three nights a week. It was about a year later when he really started in it. His mom passed away. So, the only way he could think of to get rid of _that_ pain was to drink... a lot. He'd go to the Enlisted Club at MCAS Yuma after work and just tie one on after another. He'd come home reeking of stale beer and cigar smoke.

"The abuse didn't start in until he was locked up for a D and D (drunk and disorderly conduct) and held on an overnight stay in the drunk tank when I was twelve, almost thirteen. This was the same time that I started to hide in my bedroom closet when he started screaming at my mother for not having dinner ready when he got home or for any other infraction he decided conjure up.

"Over the next couple of years, things just got worse and worse. He would yell, throw things, yell some more. Then, about three or four times a month, he'd hit mom. He never hurt me, thankfully... only my mom.

"Then, on my fifteenth birthday, Mom left. I didn't know until I came home from school the next day. I had spent the night at a friend's house for a small birthday party. I walked up the driveway and saw dad sitting on the front deck of our trailer. I knew something was wrong because it looked like he'd been crying. That's when he told me Mom left."

By this time, tears were streaming uncontrollably down Sarah's face. Harm got up and grabbed the box of tissues that were sitting on his desk and offered them to her.

"(_sniffs_) Thanks. What made it worse is that my dog went missing the same night. I don't know if he just ran away or if my mom took him with her. Anyway, I didn't handle it very well. I cried and screamed, telling him it was his fault and that I hated him and that I wished he was gone and not Mom.

"He didn't take my response too kindly. He grabbed my arm and dragged me to my bedroom before taking off his belt. He told me that he was my father and that I had to respect him as such and I was never to talk to him like that ever again; calling me his 'stupid tramp daughter' as he made his way out of my room having turned my rear end to cottage cheese and feeling like it had be through a meat grinder.

"It was about this time that I started hanging out with Eddie and Chris. In a short amount of time, Eddie and I became best friends and Chris my boyfriend. Their dads were also stationed at Yuma; so it was easy for us to get together and commiserate our mutual dislike of our families. After my father whooped my six, I ran out of the house and ended up at Eddie's place. It took a while for him to get me calm enough to take a drink from a glass Eddie handed me. I thought it was water. Huh, boy was I wrong. It was some cheap vodka his dad had there. Eddie said it would help. What did I know? I never had any alcohol before. This was the beginning of _my_ spiral downward.

"Over the next couple of years, Dad's drinking continued and mine got worse... _much_ worse. Occasionally, he'd slap me, recant and say he was sorry. When I was seventeen, I'd had enough and left him. By this time, Eddie and Chris had both left their families and got an apartment close to our high school. So I moved in with them. The summer between my junior and senior years, Chris and I got married in Vegas. A couple of months after that, Chris was arrested for auto theft and sent to prison for five years.

"About a year later, Eddie and I graduated. After the grad party, we went to another friend's house and got really drunk. After the party, Eddie grabs the keys from me and swears up and down that he's okay to drive..."

Sarah paused a moment to look at her hands and continued, "We ended up in a bad accident where the car rolled over a couple of times. Ed... (_sniffs_) Eddie was tossed from the car and died at the scene. My left arm was broken and I had some scratches from the windows shattering and a bad concussion.

"With Chris in prison, Eddie gone, and having left my father, I had nowhere else to turn to deal with the pain and grief I was feeling... except for my new friends: Jack, Absolut, and Evan Williams.

"One night after a particularly binge fest, I ended up walking down the middle of the highway... just hoping... _praying_ that a semi would just put me out of my misery. A pickup almost answered that prayer when it nearly clipped me. The man pulled over and called for the police to come get me. Somehow, the officer that picked me up knew my Uncle Matt. He took me to Uncle Matt's house and told Matt what happened. A couple of hours later, after Matt has me puking my guts out and a short nap, we're on our way to Red Rock Mesa. You know the rest." She finished with a long sigh.

Somewhere during her story, Harm ended up sitting next to her with his arms wrapped around her trying to protect her from her hurt-filled past. He would do anything to take that pain away, to make her feel it less or not at all.

"You see, I don't have all the... well... lovey dovey moments you had with your mom and Frank earlier. When I saw what was going on with you guys, I kinda... freaked out. I never got to hear my dad say he loved me without getting slapped first. I heard it occasionally from my mom, but not since I was fourteen. I..." She stopped and covered her face with her hands and sobbed. "...I wanted that so... ba... bad growing up. I... I don't... know if my dad _or_ mom ever really loved me. I have never had a loving family, Harm. I'm just so damaged... I... I don't deserve it. How could you say you lovmmphmree..."

Her self-loathing was interrupted when Harm's lips mashed hers in a searing kiss. Harm's hands were on her cheeks, holding her to him. When the need for air arose, he pulled away slowly and placed one of his fingers on her lips and said, "Shhh, Sarah. No more of that... ever. Do you understand me?

"First off: Mom, Frank, and I have never been like that. Yes, they've loved me and I've loved them. It wasn't always like what you saw earlier. Remember what I told you when we first got together. I hated the man for a long time. Since dealing with what happened to Dad, I've realized some things that were always there. I just refused to acknowledge them. Harm Senior may be my father, but Frank Burnett is my dad. That was probably the very first time I hugged the man in the almost twenty – five years I've known the man.

"Secondly: I can say I love you _because _I love you. I love you for everything you are and _not_ for what you think you are not.

"You dried out, joined the Marines, graduated from Minnesota and OCS. Then you were near the top of you class at Duke and became a kick-ass lawyer. I couldn't have asked for a better partner or best friend. Eventually, I hope to be able to add 'awesome wife and mother' to that list..."

After Harm trailed off, Sarah's mouth seemed to have a mind of its own, opening and closing like a small mouth bass. All of her brain function seemed to have ceased when the words 'wife and mother' came out of his mouth. Unable to speak momentarily, her eyes clouded over with unshed tears and longing. _'Oh... my... God! Did he just propose?' _she thought.

Knowing what was going through his girlfriend's mind at that very moment, Harm clarified it for her. "That's not a proposal... yet. It's a promise. Sarah, I promise that when the time is right, 'yet' will happen. Right now we need to focus on helping each other with our problems. Okay?"

Sarah nodded her head, now with tears of joy streaming down. She looked up into his shimmering blue eyes and said, "Don't make a promise you can't keep, Flyboy."

Harm looked back into her chocolate brown orbs and answered, "I haven't yet."

A/N: I think it's time to advance this a little bit faster than how I've been going. Again, thank you for reading. Please review and let me know what you think should happen next: Bugme, no Bugme, Renee, no Renee, Brumby / Renee pairing, some sort of familial connection between our beloved couple maybe?

Oh the heck with it...

Bugme and Renee WILL be in the next chapter.

:-p B-)

Love you guys and gals.


	8. Old Friends and New Acquaintances

OMG it has been so long since my last update. I am so sorry for that. I hope that I haven't lost too many of you. The last five months have been rather hectic. Real life just sucks that way. Oh well, Fanfic goes on. :-)

I want to thank everyone who has read, followed, favorited, and / or reviewed this or my other three stories. I am working on the next chapter of HCY and hope to have it out to you within the next two to three weeks, if anyone is interested (I hope, I hope, I hope). :-( I know, I have NO shame.

Alix33: I'm glad you were entertained. I can always count on you to point out my mistakes. Sincerely, thank you. I will make those fixes soon.

CristinaJ: Thank you. I never liked them in canon. But I hope you like what I came up with.

PBLLady: Your patience and (hopefully) perseverance has paid off. Here you go.

Zats: Thank you so much. It makes me so happy that you are enjoying this.

Steamboat: Thank you. I liked the idea of the boxing demonstration. Maybe you should make it official and join the FFnet as a writer. You've got a lot of great ideas. I think you'd be a good one.

Midwintersilver: Thank you. I can't promise you that Trish, Frank, or even Joe or Deanne Mackenzie won't make an appearance later on. I can promise to keep the interaction minimal. This is all about HarMac, after all. I want to put them on mission sometime soon. I'm looking for the right one. Let me know if you have any suggestions.

Rebecca: I know it was a while between 6 and 7, but even longer between 7 and 8. My apologies. I wasn't a fan of the whole RenMic garbage, but it gives plenty of fodder to play around with. Thanks for reading.

Ad694: Thank you so much. I hope you like what I've come up with.

Jag389: You're welcome and thank you.

JJ: Here you are and thank you.

Whew, that was a lot of reviews. Thank you all so much. I hope everyone who reads, enjoys. If you do, let me know. I always enjoy reading what you think. Y'all help me write this. So thank you so very much.

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you 3. Happy anniversary to my beautifully wonder bride of 19 years. You are my Sarah… my princess. I love you, Baby!

(sniff, sniff)… ON WITH THE SHOW!

_Sarah nodded her head, now with tears of joy streaming down. She looked up into his shimmering blue eyes and said, "Don't make a promise you can't keep, Flyboy."_

_Harm looked back into her chocolate brown orbs and answered, "I haven't yet."_

Old Friends and New Acquaintances

It had been an extremely busy month thus far for Harm and Sarah. Harm and the Admiral had to rescue the Admiral's daughter, Francesca Paretti, from her ex-boyfriend. This was especially hard on Sarah as Harm had almost been shot a couple of times and narrowly escaped injury.

Next, Harm and Sarah were on opposite sides of a court case involving a Marine guard supposedly killed a known terrorist on ZNN during a live broadcast. During the proceedings, Harm's client had him replaced with another lawyer. Who was the person who replaced Harm? None other than Juanita Ressler, one of Sarah's professor's in law school. During the course, Ms. Ressler suggested that Sarah drop law and take up lap dancing.

Harm and Sarah were assigned a case on the Coral Sea of a pilot who thought he was hearing voices. During a reenactment of the mission, the pilot and his RIO became incapacitated by a bad batch of oxygen. Harm had to use the Tomcat he was flying to fly dangerously close to the other aircraft, lifting its wings so that the autopilot could disengage. Luckily, the AP did disengage and the pilot was able to regain consciousness and pull up before they slammed into the Iraqi desert. When Harm had heard that the AP suggestion had come from a certain Marine Major, his simple reply had been, "I might have known." This had brought a slight self-satisfaction to Sarah who smirked at Harm when he had made it back on deck and deplaned.

When she had pulled him to a secluded part of the ship near the fantail, her Marine green will collapsed and she all but fell into Harm. He wrapped his arms around her torso and pulled her to him gently. Through her sobs, Sarah was able to cry softly, "Oh, God, Harm... I was so... scared something... would happen to... you up there. It took every ounce of... my strength to... keep from falling... apart."

"Oh, sweetheart," Harm said as he rubbed her back to calm her down. "The only, thought running through my head, other than don't touch that wing, was 'Please God, get me back to Sarah safely.' You being on my mind helped me to be able to do that. Besides, I had a little bit of you with me in the cockpit. Wanna see?"

This helped calm her down, somewhat. The sobs subsided and she was finally able to stand without Harm holding her up. After holding her eyes shut for a five count to help calm her nerves, she opened them and gave him a soft nod and an equally soft grin.

When he was sure she was alright, Harm reached into the slanted pocket over his left breast and pulled out a small, narrow slip of thick paper. Sarah's soft grin increased into the room-lighting, earth-stopping, knee-weakening smile that drove Harm absolutely wild. The item was one half of a picture strip they had picked up from a photo booth at a mall in Tyson's Corner. One of the images was of them with their heads touching, a few strands of her hair had swept across her face an instant before the shutter clicked (Harm had thought that was the best picture of them ever); and the other was a spoof of them arguing with fingers pointing at each other. Naturally they each believed they had 'won' said argument.

Sarah reached up with her right hand, putting it around the back of his neck and gently pulled him down to her and claimed his lips with hers. It wasn't one of their more passionate embraces. This was more to reinforce the fact that he was still with her. After a few seconds of affirmation, she pulled back and asked, "Why did you have that with you? I thought that was back in DC."

Harm chuckled lightly and answered, "Ever since World War I, pilots have been painting the names or pictures of their wives or girlfriends on the nose cones of their aircraft and taking pictures of them into the cockpit for luck. Dad named his Phantom 'Prancing Patricia' and had painted a small caricature of her face during his first tour."

Sarah rolled her eyes and said, "Thanks for the history lesson, Professor. That was so sweet." She placed a hand on his cheek, caressing it and whispered, "Thank you." Then in a normal voice continued, "Now, if you don't mind, Flyboy, we have to close up this investigation. I'm ready to go home."

Harm flashed her his Flyboy Grin and a mock salute saying, "Aye, aye, ma'am."

Sarah chuckled and turned to make her way out of the small area they were in. When she reached the hatch, she turned back slightly and mouthed, "I love you." Then she disappeared into the corridor.

Harm stood there for a couple more minutes contemplating the flight. It could have been him who was knocked out from oxygen deprivation and nearly dying. It had taken him every ounce of his training and skill to maneuver his aircraft to within inches of another plane, flying at about four hundred knots (much closer to each other than the Blue Angels fly), and nearly getting both flight crews killed in the process.

He loved Sarah more than anything and would give anything to be with her for the rest of his life. The monkey wrench that could seriously mess up the works was his flying. He knew about what his family considered 'The Rabb Curse'. His grandfather, Jonathan, was shot down during the Battle of Midway and had died instantly; leaving his wife, Sarah, with an eleven month old Harmon to care for all on her lonesome.

Jonathan's father had been shot down in mid-June 1917 during the first World War. Jonathan's mother was only three months pregnant with him at the time.

Harm Sr. was shot down on Christmas Eve 1969, leaving a five-year-old Harm Jr. and his mother by themselves.

Harm wanted his father to be the last Rabb to leave his family and his son alone. If, and only God knew if it could happen, he ever got back his night vision, Harm would seriously have to consider giving up his wings. He knew that he could shuffle off of this mortal coil any number of ways, but he was determined that flying would not be one of them.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

1430 Zulu / 0930 EDT

9 November, 1998

Harm's Office, JAG HQ

Falls Church, Virginia

One week later, things had seemed to settle down on the case front. It looked like all the sailors and Marines were behaving themselves. This was great for the Navy, but it sucked if you were charged with upholding the regulations found in the UCMJ.

Harm looked up from his computer when he heard a knock on his door. "Enter," he called out.

Tiner opened the door and stuck his head in and said, "Sir, the Admiral would like to see you in his office."

"Thanks, Tiner," Harm responded before he got up to head to Chegwidden's inner sanctum. When he got to the outer office, he noticed the door to the Admiral's office was open.

"Commander, if that's you loitering around out there, get your six in here," came the bellowing growl from the other room.

'Oh, crap! What did I do THIS time,' thought Harm as he walked through the door and stopped rigidly at attention before sounding off, "Lieutenant Commander Rabb reporting as ordered, sir!"

"At ease, Commander and take a seat." Harm complied with the directive and then AJ continued, "I've sent the Major and Lieutenant Roberts to Norfolk on a case. I need you to head over to Ronald Reagan Airport. We have taken part in an exchange program with the Australians and one their officers is scheduled to arrive in an hour. You are to pick him up and help him get settled in." He put his hand up to forestall any objections Harm may have had. "I don't want to hear it, Rabb. You're doing this. Am I clear?"

Given that this was a direct order, Harm had no other choice than to obey his commanding officer. Sighing internally, he nodded his head and answered, "Aye, aye, sir."

"Very good. Dismissed. Tiner has the information waiting for you."

Harm jumped out of his seat, snapped to, and responded, "Aye, aye, sir."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

1600 Zulu / 1100 EDT

9 November, 1998

Ronald Reagan Airport

Washington, DC

One hour later, Harm was waiting in the arrivals section of gate 23 at Reagan Airport. Upon hearing who the exchange officer would be, Harm was practically a streak of navy blue as he sped back to his office, grabbed his cover, and all but bowled Harriet over on his way through the double doors that led out of JAG OPS. Harm did offer his apologies to her but still kept up his torrent pace.

It had been nearly twenty years since he had seen either hide or hair of the boy... man... he was sent to pick up. Would they recognize each other? Would Harm be remembered by the man? Harm wished Sarah was there beside him so that she could help keep him calm.

One by one, the passengers of the Qantas jumbo jet made their way through the gangway and into the terminal. With his slight advantage in height, Harm had no problems seeing each of the faces as they came into view. After a few minutes, he finally spotted his charge: a man about five feet eight inches tall, well built, and wearing a rugby sweater and jeans. However, Harm noticed something, or rather someone, was attached to his right arm: an attractive blonde woman who was about the same height as the man she was linked with.

As they got closer, about fifteen yards away, the man spotted Harm and a large grin crept up at the corners of his mouth. He said something to the woman, separated from her, and increased his stride and gait sufficiently enough to reach Harm about five feet ahead of the woman.

The two men embraced like they had not seen each other in years, almost as if they were brothers. When the shorter man pulled back, he scowled at Harm and said, "You sawed off sepo bastard, what the hell are you doing here?"

Harm appeared as if he had been slapped and answered the man, "Well, I thought I was here to pick up the hottest JAG lawyer in the Australian Navy. But, YOU showed up instead, you dumb Aussie." They embraced again like brothers with the shorter man picking Harm up and tossing him around like a ragdoll. When the man put him down, Harm continued, "How the hell are you, Mic? It's been a long time."

Lieutenant Commander Michael Brumby, Royal Australian Navy, looked up at Harm and responded, "Too damn long, Mate. I'm doing well, Harm. Oh, wait! I want to introduce you to someone. Sweetheart, come meet my mate."

The blonde woman walked up to the men and extended her hand to Harm as Mic made the introductions. "Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb, Junior? I'd like you to meet my wife. This is Renee Peterson – Brumby," he said and then ran his hand against Renee's slightly swollen belly while continuing. "And this is either Mic, Junior or Michelle Brumby. Ren is a movie producer from Hollywood."

Harm shook the woman's proffered hand and mused, "Renee, it's so nice to meet the only woman, other than his mother, who is willing to put up with this man's hijinks."

Renee laughed at the man and retorted, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Commander. Um, I'm sorry, but how do you two know each other? I've never heard of you."

The two men glanced at each other and Harm winced hard. As nice as it was to be seeing Mic again, how the two of them met was not so nice. Images of his trip to Vietnam and Laos began to swim through Harm's consciousness: meeting up with Colonel Stryker, roaming the jungle in search of POW camps and any MIAs they hoped to come across, Gym. In the span of a few seconds, the film strip in his head concluded and a tear began to make its way down Harm's cheek. The memories of that trip and his recent trip with Sarah to Russia flooded his mind. Only when he felt Mic's hand on his shoulder did he softly answer, more to Mic than Renee, "I found him."

The simple, three – word answer nearly broke Mic's heart. Mic decided that a short explanation was in order. "You see, Love, Harm's father went missing in Vietnam during the war. Harm was only five or six at the time. When he was sixteen, Harm ran away from home so that he could go to 'Nam and look for him. We met when he came back through Cairns on his way home. My mum and I were coming back from the market when we heard him crying in an alley. Mum thought he was lost or an orphan and she brought him home with us. He told us his story and that he had run out of money when he bought his ticket from Manila to Cairns. Mum and dad let him stay a few days to get calmed a bit. During that time, we got pretty close. It was only a few days, but this guy's like a brother."

Harm nodded in agreement of Mic's tale and added, "Yeah, that's pretty much it. We kept in touch with letters for about five years. Then we graduated from our academies and I headed off to flight school and Mic to law school. I've since changed my designator to lawyer and got assigned to JAG HQ. I've been there since late '94."

Renee listened intently to the story. She found herself immediately taking a liking to her husband's friend, nee brother. She understood what it was like to lose a parent as her father had passed away a year earlier. She was still mourning the loss, as was Mic; he had come to see the man as a surrogate father.

Wanting to get the show on the road, Harm spoke up saying, "Well, why don't we get your bags and I'll get you guys to your hotel?"

Mic answered for he and his wife saying, "Tell you what, Mate: once we get the bags, let's go ahead and stop by the hotel then get to the office. I'd like to go ahead and report in." Then looking at his wife asked, "That is, if it's alright with you, Love?"

Renee smiled as she nodded at her husband, then linked her arm through his as they made their way to claim their baggage. Then the trio made their way to the car rental agents as Harm only had his Corvette, which was now inadequate transportation to get all three of them around town.

1730 Zulu / 1230 EDT

9 November, 1998

Admiral Chegwidden's Office, JAG HQ

Falls Church, Virginia

An hour and a half and a quick lunch later, Harm, Mic and Renee were seated in Chegwidden's office for Mic's reporting in. Mic was just getting finished with a recount of one of his Uncle Jack's escapades during his time in Vietnam.

"Commander Rabb will be showing you the ropes, Commander. In the short term, you'll be assisting him with Major Mackenzie's caseload. Welcome aboard," Chegwidden concluded as he shook Mic's hand and then Renee's. "It was an honor to meet you, Mrs. Brumby."

Renee and Mic both smiled at his new CO before Mic replied for them, "Thank you, sir."

Once back out in the bullpen, Harm introduced the Brumby's to the JAG support staff and then to the attorneys. Harm saved Harriet for last. "Lieutenant (JG) Harriet Sims, Lieutenant Commander and Mrs. Brumby. He'll be assisting with the Ellsworth case," Harm said as Harriet shook the newcomers' hands.

After doing so, Harriet mused, "It will be good to have help with case research, Sir."

"I can do more than look things up, Leftenant. You see, my mother's American, so I have dual citizenship. I got my degree at Georgetown and passed the D.C. Bar ten years ago. No reason I shouldn't try a case or two, is there," Mic said giving Harriet a wink and a smile to help lessen the embarrassment Harriet showed on her face, which did help in a small measure.

Harm flashed Harriet a miniature version of his Flyboy Grin (the full version he reserved only for Sarah) and said, "Harriet, why don't you show the Brumby's to Mic's new office?"

Having been saved from any further mortification of her unwittingly committed faux pas, Harriet's bubbliness returned full force as she answered, "Absolutely, Sir. Right this way, please."

With a promise to show them around later, Harm walked back to his office and stopped when he saw someone sitting in one of the visitor's chairs in front of his desk. Stepping through the threshold Harm asked, "Can I help you?"

The man stood up, turned around, stuck out his hand, and introduced himself. "Hello, Harm."

Visibly shaken by the tone of the man's voice and apparent familiarity with himself, alarm bells start going off in Harm's head as he responded, "Hello, and you are?" He said this as he bypassed the man and walked around his desk. He had a sinking suspicion as to the man's identity. However, never having met the man personally, he had to wait for his theory to be proven. He didn't have to wait very long.

Once he realized the tall naval commander would not shake his hand, the man spoke up smirking, "My name is Chris Ragle. I believe you know my wife."


End file.
